{"id":4944,"date":"2026-07-20T08:06:12","date_gmt":"2026-07-20T08:06:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4944"},"modified":"2026-07-20T08:06:12","modified_gmt":"2026-07-20T08:06:12","slug":"dear-abby-should-we-let-leo-know-wed-back-him-in-a-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4944","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: Should we let Leo know we’d back him in a divorce?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR ABBY:<\/strong> Our friend \u201cLeo\u201d married a girl who treats him poorly. She degrades him in front of people about his finances, weight, looks, etc.<\/p>\n

Read more Italian Family Festa returns to History Park San Jose July 25-26<\/a><\/p>\n

They have been married only a couple of years and have no kids. Leo is a great person, and his mental health is getting beaten down daily. Should we say something to him?<\/p>\n

We want him to know we would support him if he wanted to divorce her. He has limited family \u2014 his friends are family.<\/p>\n

\u2014 STEPPING UP IN IDAHO<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR STEPPING UP<\/strong>: Because you and Leo\u2019s other friends believe he is being abused, I see no reason to remain silent and pretend it isn\u2019t happening. An intervention may be called for, as well as an opportunity to reinforce the message that you are all there for him regardless of what he chooses to do about his marriage.<\/p>\n

DEAR ABBY:<\/strong> I\u2019m 56 years old and have been married for 12 years. I don\u2019t want to drive an hour and a half to spend time with my husband\u2019s grandbabies.<\/p>\n

I have done that on many occasions and choose not to do it anymore. I\u2019m not into babies \u2014 or children, for that matter. He continues to ask me to go and can\u2019t understand why I don\u2019t want to.<\/p>\n

I have no problem with him going (I encourage him to go), but he won\u2019t let up on me, and it\u2019s driving me away.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Am I wrong to prefer not to go?<\/p>\n

\u2014 CHILD-FREE IN CALIFORNIA<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR CHILD-FREE:<\/strong> Has it occurred to you that your husband may not want to drive an hour and a half to visit the \u201cgrandbabies\u201d any more than you do? He may need you for backup.<\/p>\n

Sometimes in a marriage, we do things for our partner that may not be our favorite pastime, but we do it for love.<\/p>\n

Read more Three-bedroom house sells in Fremont for $1.8 million<\/a><\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

You should not have to make that pilgrimage every time your husband does, but the nice thing to do would be to accompany him more times than not. And do it with a smile.<\/p>\n

DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: My husband is serving a life sentence, with the possibility of parole. He turned himself in a year and a half ago for a crime that happened 15 years ago.<\/p>\n

I met someone seven months ago. This man is involved in his church and has a ministry in which he feeds the homeless.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not sure at this point what our future holds. I feel so guilty at times. Please help. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.<\/p>\n

\u2014 CONFLICTED IN GEORGIA<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR CONFLICTED:<\/strong> This is something I think you should discuss with your incarcerated husband. When you do, explain that you don\u2019t think you can live like a widow, possibly for decades. Decide together how you should proceed.<\/p>\n

However, please remember you have been involved with this new person for a relatively short time, and there is no guarantee that your relationship will become permanent.<\/p>\n

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Duplex sells in Oakland for $965,000<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Plus: I’m not into babies, and I don’t want to see my husband’s grandkids anymore.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":88,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4944","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Abby: Should we let Leo know we’d back him in a divorce? - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4944\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: Should we let Leo know we’d back him in a divorce? - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Plus: I'm not into babies, and I don't want to see my husband's grandkids anymore.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4944\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-07-20T08:06:12+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4944#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4944\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Dear Abby: Should we let Leo know we’d back him in a divorce?\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-20T08:06:12+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4944\"},\"wordCount\":571,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4944#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4944#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4944\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4944\",\"name\":\"Dear Abby: Should we let Leo know we’d back him in a divorce? 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