{"id":4862,"date":"2026-07-19T08:09:26","date_gmt":"2026-07-19T08:09:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4862"},"modified":"2026-07-19T08:09:26","modified_gmt":"2026-07-19T08:09:26","slug":"dear-abby-after-my-wifes-tepid-answers-i-feel-like-i-should-file-for-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4862","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: After my wife’s tepid answers, I feel like I should file for divorce"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: I\u2019ve known my wife for 22 years. We had a lot of on and off during those years. The last time we got back together, we married. It\u2019s been almost five years now.<\/p>\n

Read more An eye on trends: Acai grows through upheaval by focusing on health<\/a><\/p>\n

Recently, we had an argument that has her not wanting me to touch her. She refuses to discuss the problem. It feels like she hates me. When I asked if she wanted a divorce, she said, \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to lose her, but her actions since that argument make me think it\u2019s really over. Silence in my own house is ridiculous to me. And not even allowing me to touch her feels like she has really given up on us.<\/p>\n

I mentioned marriage counseling, and again her response was, \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n

I feel like I should just go file for divorce, but that\u2019s not really what I want. Please give me some advice on what to do.<\/p>\n

\u2014 BEYOND CONFUSED IN PENNSYLVANIA<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR BEYOND CONFUSED:<\/strong> Tell your wife you are not willing to continue being married under the present circumstances. Then return to the subject of marriage counseling.<\/p>\n

If she is willing to go with you, ask your doctor or your health insurance company to give you a list of qualified marriage and family therapists. The two of you are at a stalemate, and without mediation, your situation won\u2019t change.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: After many years living near and helping my parents, I moved to another state to retire. My dad died three months after I moved.<\/p>\n

I begged my mother to let me fly back and help her with his arrangements, but she insisted I stay put.<\/p>\n

Read more Read \u2018The Odyssey\u2019 with Mary Beard, not with Elon Musk<\/a><\/p>\n

Some weeks later, and two days after we had talked on the phone, she secretly buried my dad\u2019s ashes without telling me. I was devastated to receive a pathetic video of her, my brother, and a priest conducting a private service. Though she won\u2019t admit it, I think she was punishing me for moving away.<\/p>\n

Mom is mentally ill and narcissistic, and there have been many betrayals before this one. As the eldest daughter, I appear to be her main target, and my siblings make excuses for her behavior. (My brother said, \u201cIt wasn\u2019t my job to call you.\u201d)<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

It has been two years, but she doesn\u2019t think she did anything wrong. How do I get over this? I loved my dad so much.<\/p>\n

\u2014 MISTREATED IN ARIZONA<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR MISTREATED<\/strong>: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your father. A step in the right direction for getting past this would be to remind yourself that your mother is mentally ill and narcissistic.<\/p>\n

It appears from what you have told me that you have always been the scapegoat in the family, which may be why your brother didn\u2019t alert you to what your mother was planning.<\/p>\n

Of course you loved your father. I am sure he loved you very much. If you know where his ashes are interred, it might be a comfort to visit there. However, if you don\u2019t know, I wouldn\u2019t blame you for moving on with your life and spending it with people who appreciate you for the fine person you are.<\/p>\n

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Trump and Mamdani to attend World Cup Final on Sunday<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Plus: My mom secretly buried my dad’s ashes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":88,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4862","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Abby: After my wife’s tepid answers, I feel like I should file for divorce - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4862\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: After my wife’s tepid answers, I feel like I should file for divorce - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Plus: My mom secretly buried my dad's ashes.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4862\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-07-19T08:09:26+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4862#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4862\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Dear Abby: After my wife’s tepid answers, I feel like I should file for divorce\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-19T08:09:26+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4862\"},\"wordCount\":633,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4862#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4862#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4862\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4862\",\"name\":\"Dear Abby: After my wife’s tepid answers, I feel like I should file for divorce - 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