{"id":4789,"date":"2026-07-18T09:07:26","date_gmt":"2026-07-18T09:07:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4789"},"modified":"2026-07-18T09:07:26","modified_gmt":"2026-07-18T09:07:26","slug":"harriette-cole-im-worried-about-my-flaky-brothers-overseas-adventure","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4789","title":{"rendered":"Harriette Cole: I’m worried about my flaky brother’s overseas adventure"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n

DEAR HARRIETTE:<\/strong> My brother is moving to rural Vietnam for a year to teach English, and I don\u2019t think this is a good idea.<\/p>\n

Read more Miss Manners: I want an office ban on taking just half a doughnut<\/a><\/p>\n

My brother can\u2019t stick to any commitment to save his life, and this experience doesn\u2019t seem like it is likely to go any differently. He gets excited about new opportunities all the time, but once the excitement wears off, he usually quits and moves on to something else. He\u2019s switched jobs multiple times over the past few years and has even abandoned hobbies and volunteer commitments after only a few weeks.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m also worried because this isn\u2019t just a new job in the next town over \u2014 he\u2019s moving halfway across the world to a place where he doesn\u2019t know anyone. He doesn\u2019t speak Vietnamese, has never lived outside of the country and doesn\u2019t seem to fully understand how different life will be in a rural area compared to what he\u2019s used to.<\/p>\n

Our parents think this experience will help him mature and become more responsible, but I\u2019m worried that he\u2019ll get there, realize he hates it and come home early and leave the school in a difficult position.<\/p>\n

Should I say something or should I just leave my brother be and have more faith in him?<\/p>\n

\u2014 Uncommitted<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR UNCOMMITTED<\/strong>: Your brother is putting himself in a situation that will be hard to leave. Good for him.<\/p>\n

Be supportive. Remind him that it is a very different place from home and he should put his all into it. Offer to be a sounding board for him if he gets skittish. Be a cheerleader.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Your parents are right: There is a chance that this will be the kick in the pants he needs and may begin a positive transformation. If not, he will have to suffer the consequences.<\/p>\n

DEAR HARRIETTE<\/strong>: I am someone who considers herself to be very stylish. I have a dramatic sense of fashion, favoring bold colors and chunky jewelry. I am the type to show up in both pastel and neon at the same time.<\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: I\u2019m trying not to be a bratty bride but my feelings are hurt<\/a><\/p>\n

Style has always been a way that I have expressed my vibrant personality, and it brings a little bit of fun into my day.<\/p>\n

This works well when you are younger; however, as I start a corporate internship, I\u2019m wondering how I can bring that sense of style into a traditional office setting.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

I don\u2019t want to do away with my sense of style completely, as it is a part of who I am, but I understand it may need to change to fit the venue. How do you recommend I show my style while staying within a businesslike dress code?<\/p>\n

\u2014 Office Style<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR OFFICE STYLE<\/strong>: Start understated. Look around and read the corporate culture. How do people dress there? Look in the company handbook to see if there are wardrobe guidelines, but even more, open your eyes and notice how people dress.<\/p>\n

With that in mind, start with a basic corporate outfit, which may be a suit or blouse, cardigan and skirt or pants. Consider adding one element to that basic corporate look, like a chunky necklace or a colorful top \u2014 not everything at once.<\/p>\n

This, by the way, does not mean you are selling out. It\u2019s all about strategy. You don\u2019t want your wardrobe to impede your success.<\/p>\n

Find subtle ways to introduce your style while keeping in mind that your job does not need to be the place where your personal style leads.<\/p>\n

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c\/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Man shot by San Leandro police died from self-inflicted gunshot<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Our parents think the experience will mature him. I’m not so sure.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":92,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4789","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nHarriette Cole: I’m worried about my flaky brother’s overseas adventure - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4789\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Harriette Cole: I’m worried about my flaky brother’s overseas adventure - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Our parents think the experience will mature him. I'm not so sure.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4789\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-07-18T09:07:26+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4789#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4789\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Harriette Cole: I’m worried about my flaky brother’s overseas adventure\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-18T09:07:26+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4789\"},\"wordCount\":689,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4789#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4789#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4789\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4789\",\"name\":\"Harriette Cole: I’m worried about my flaky brother’s overseas adventure - Next City Digest\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4789#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4789#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-18T09:07:26+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4789#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4789\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4789#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp\",\"width\":1024,\"height\":614},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4789#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Harriette Cole: I’m worried about my flaky brother’s overseas adventure\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"Next City Digest\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\",\"name\":\"admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"admin\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Harriette Cole: I’m worried about my flaky brother’s overseas adventure - Next City Digest","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4789","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Harriette Cole: I’m worried about my flaky brother’s overseas adventure - Next City Digest","og_description":"Our parents think the experience will mature him. I'm not so sure.","og_url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4789","og_site_name":"Next City Digest","article_published_time":"2026-07-18T09:07:26+00:00","author":"admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"admin","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4789#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4789"},"author":{"name":"admin","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b"},"headline":"Harriette Cole: I’m worried about my flaky brother’s overseas adventure","datePublished":"2026-07-18T09:07:26+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4789"},"wordCount":689,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4789#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp","articleSection":["Advice"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4789#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4789","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4789","name":"Harriette Cole: I’m worried about my flaky brother’s overseas adventure - Next City Digest","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4789#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4789#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp","datePublished":"2026-07-18T09:07:26+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4789#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4789"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4789#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp","contentUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp","width":1024,"height":614},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4789#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Harriette Cole: I’m worried about my flaky brother’s overseas adventure"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/","name":"Next City Digest","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b","name":"admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"admin"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/nextcitydigest.com"],"url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?author=1"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4789","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4789"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4789\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/92"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4789"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4789"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4789"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}