{"id":4731,"date":"2026-07-17T09:06:26","date_gmt":"2026-07-17T09:06:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4731"},"modified":"2026-07-17T09:06:26","modified_gmt":"2026-07-17T09:06:26","slug":"harriette-cole-i-missed-a-few-calls-from-my-mom-and-she-got-all-dramatic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4731","title":{"rendered":"Harriette Cole: I missed a few calls from my mom and she got all dramatic"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR HARRIETTE<\/strong>: I recently went on a trip to visit my best friend in New York, and I missed a few phone calls from my mom due to being busy.<\/p>\n

Read more Miss Manners: Am I wrong to expect pedestrians to wave back at me when I\u2019m driving?<\/a><\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t think anything of it, but apparently it hurt her feelings.<\/p>\n

I called my dad while I was in New York, and my mom took the phone from him, asking why I have time to call him but not answer her. I attempted explaining to her that I was busy. I tried talking to her then, but she just gave the phone back to my dad. Apparently, she went to the other room and cried.<\/p>\n

I feel like not answering a few phone calls doesn\u2019t warrant that type of reaction. Did I do something wrong?<\/p>\n

\u2014 Confused Child<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR CONFUSED CHILD:<\/strong> Your mom is clearly missing you and has put a lot of pressure on you to be there for her. Call her or send her a note and apologize for missing her calls.<\/p>\n

Assure her that it wasn\u2019t intentional. You were away having a great experience, and time slipped by. Make sure she is OK and doesn\u2019t need anything.<\/p>\n

For whatever reason, your mom is feeling vulnerable. Is that your problem? It shouldn\u2019t be, but she is making it partly yours.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

To help neutralize the situation, remind her of how much you love her and did not ever mean to hurt her feelings.<\/p>\n

DEAR HARRIETTE:<\/strong> One of my childhood friends and his wife moved to my city about a year ago. While I\u2019ve known him forever, I\u2019ve grown much closer to his wife since they relocated.<\/p>\n

I genuinely enjoy her company, and I know the transition has been harder for her since she doesn\u2019t have many friends here yet. That said, I\u2019m starting to feel a little overwhelmed.<\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: I don\u2019t want to give my infuriating in-laws a grandchild<\/a><\/p>\n

Recently, I mentioned a DIY home project I was planning, and before I knew it, she invited herself over to help, suggested turning it into a sleepover and even made it into a full \u201cgirls\u2019 night.\u201d Under normal circumstances, I wouldn\u2019t mind, but I just hosted out-of-town friends for several days, and I\u2019m still recovering from all the energy that took.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

I don\u2019t want to hurt her feelings or make her feel unwelcome, especially because I know she may be leaning on me for connection right now. At the same time, I need some space and don\u2019t want every casual mention to turn into a full-on plan.<\/p>\n

How can I gently set boundaries without damaging our friendship or making her feel rejected?<\/p>\n

\u2014 Need Some Space<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR NEED SOME SPACE<\/strong>: This is a tough one, but you do need to establish boundaries.<\/p>\n

First, stop saying everything in your mind to her. You are a lifeline right now, so she is holding on to every word.<\/p>\n

Next, you will need to say when you want time to yourself. That may include answering a call and telling her you have to talk to her later or maybe not answering every time. Say directly that you need some alone time.<\/p>\n

Yes, it may hurt her feelings at first. But in order to maintain the relationship, you need to establish boundaries. Otherwise, you may end up blowing up and lose the friendship entirely.<\/p>\n

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c\/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more JD Vance demanded military helicopter transport for son\u2019s golf lesson: report<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I called my dad, she took the phone away from him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":92,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4731","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nHarriette Cole: I missed a few calls from my mom and she got all dramatic - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4731\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Harriette Cole: I missed a few calls from my mom and she got all dramatic - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When I called my dad, she took the phone away from him.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4731\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-07-17T09:06:26+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4731#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4731\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Harriette Cole: I missed a few calls from my mom and she got all dramatic\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-17T09:06:26+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4731\"},\"wordCount\":651,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4731#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4731#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4731\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4731\",\"name\":\"Harriette Cole: I missed a few calls from my mom and she got all dramatic - 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