{"id":4630,"date":"2026-07-16T08:05:54","date_gmt":"2026-07-16T08:05:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4630"},"modified":"2026-07-16T08:05:54","modified_gmt":"2026-07-16T08:05:54","slug":"dear-abby-i-want-my-wife-to-stop-ogling-men-her-therapist-says-im-narcissistic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4630","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: I want my wife to stop ogling men. Her therapist says I’m narcissistic."},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been with my wife for 23 years. We have three kids and are in our early 40s.<\/p>\n

Read more Suspect charged in hit-and-run death of Oakland bicyclist<\/a><\/p>\n

My wife has always struggled with her weight, but two years ago she started a plan and has been successful. Her weight loss has prompted me to notice her more, and I\u2019ve noticed as I\u2019ve paid more attention to her in the last few years that she has a wandering eye. I think it is disrespectful.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not sure if this started after her weight loss, but it has caused issues at home. To be clear, I\u2019m fully aware that attractive people exist, and a quick look is fine with me.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve brought it up with her, and we\u2019ve had several arguments. I\u2019ve presented multiple examples, and she claims it\u2019s my insecurities. While I do have insecurities, I would never jeopardize our relationship and only brought up this subject after multiple instances.<\/p>\n

We are at a standstill. I suggested a therapist for her, and things have only gotten worse. The therapist has said I have \u201cnarcissistic traits,\u201d and it\u2019s creating a bigger wedge between us.<\/p>\n

I have thought about divorce multiple times. I need some advice, please.<\/p>\n

\u2014 EYES ON HER IN CONNECTICUT<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR EYES<\/strong>: Has your wife\u2019s therapist ever met you? It seems strange that a professional would diagnose a client\u2019s husband from a distance as having \u201cnarcissistic traits\u201d when the problem might be simple insecurity after your wife has become more attractive as a result of her weight loss.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Yes, attractive people get more attention. And yes, people who were once less attractive may revel in their new status. However, this does not mean they are cheating.<\/p>\n

Because you were so quick to suggest a therapist for your wife, please consider some counseling for yourself.<\/p>\n

DEAR ABBY:<\/strong> I host family birthday dinners for my two adult children, their spouses and my three grandchildren every year.<\/p>\n

Read more Warriors draftee Alex Toohey nearing end of arduous journey back from knee injury<\/a><\/p>\n

This year, my son informed me that his son, the 8-year-old birthday boy, was having two friends (whom I had never met) sleep over and said they would also be at the birthday dinner. It was fine with me.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

The three of them, plus my other two grandchildren (ages 5 and 10), were so excited that they ran through the house screaming when we weren\u2019t eating. When we were seated at the table, they were still screaming. It was so loud you couldn\u2019t talk to the person next to you. Before dinner, they picked food off the buffet with their bare hands. They acted like wild animals.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t say anything to the kids because I thought it was up to my son and his wife to do it.<\/p>\n

The next day, my husband told me I should have spoken up since I was the host. Should I have stepped in?<\/p>\n

\u2014 FAILED HOST IN PENNSYLVANIA<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR HOST<\/strong>: Yes. The party was in your home, and your wishes and rules should have prevailed.<\/p>\n

Clearly those children had never been taught not to behave the way they did. Someone should have said something, and that someone was you.<\/p>\n

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Shooting in Richmond injures two people<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Plus: The children were like wild animals, but I didn’t think it was my place to say anything.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":88,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4630","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Abby: I want my wife to stop ogling men. Her therapist says I’m narcissistic. - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4630\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: I want my wife to stop ogling men. 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