{"id":4251,"date":"2026-07-11T09:06:25","date_gmt":"2026-07-11T09:06:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4251"},"modified":"2026-07-11T09:06:25","modified_gmt":"2026-07-11T09:06:25","slug":"harriette-cole-ive-always-gotten-what-i-wanted-until-now-how-do-i-recover","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4251","title":{"rendered":"Harriette Cole: I&#8217;ve always gotten what I wanted, until now. How do I recover?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<div>\n<p><strong>DEAR HARRIETTE<\/strong>: I recently applied for and interviewed for an internship. I felt like the interview went well, and I was told I met the requirements and qualifications for the role.<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4250\">Miss Manners: This is why I\u2019m putting my feet on your furniture<\/a><\/p>\n<p>The company ended up going in a different direction, and I am at a loss. I normally get everything I want and apply for, and I have never faced rejection before.<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t know what to do. I feel down about it and like I have let myself and my family down. I always aim to be the best, and now I\u2019m not.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m writing to see if you have any words of encouragement or advice to help get me out of this post-interview funk.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u2014 Post-Interview Funk<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR POST INTERVIEW FUNK<\/strong>: There\u2019s a saying: Don\u2019t put your eggs in one basket. What does that mean? I have another friend who just experienced this same thing. He applied for one internship, was over-the-moon excited about it, and then he was crushed when he didn\u2019t get it. Plus, he didn\u2019t have a pivot because he hadn\u2019t even looked at other opportunities.<\/p>\n<p>That is crushing, but as hard as it seems, you have to pick yourself up and look for something else.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, rejection sucks. But the good news is there are lots of choices out there. You just have to go out and find them.<\/p>\n<div>\n<\/div>\n<p>Look around, ask for help and don\u2019t give up. It stings, but it\u2019s OK. That wasn\u2019t for you even though you wanted it.<\/p>\n<p>So, what\u2019s next? The best way to get out of your negativity is to double down on finding something else. Get up every day and search for opportunities. Stop talking about what didn\u2019t happen for you and focus on what you want.<\/p>\n<p>Say out loud what you are looking for. Tell other people, and invite the universe to help you manifest a job.<\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR HARRIETTE:<\/strong> I have been going out with a guy for the past five months. He attends military college, and every chance he got this past semester, he would travel an hour to spend time with me in the city.<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4249\">Dear Abby: I became a wife at 20 thinking it would give me freedom. Now I\u2019m not sure.<\/a><\/p>\n<div>\n<\/div>\n<p>When we weren\u2019t seeing each other in person, we were texting and FaceTiming all day and night.<\/p>\n<p>I recently came home for the summer, and everything has changed.<\/p>\n<p>Our conversations slowly started to fade, and then out of nowhere, he texted me saying that he wanted to take a pause on our relationship and pursue someone else.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m hurt and confused by this, especially since the day before, he told me how much he missed me and yearned to see me.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve spent the whole day crying, and I feel like I have done something wrong. Why doesn\u2019t he want me? Why am I suddenly no longer good enough? How do I get past this rejection and the relationship?<\/p>\n<p><em>\u2014 Rejected and Gutted<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR REJECTED AND GUTTED<\/strong>: Being abruptly sidelined for no apparent reason can be devastating. It\u2019s no wonder you are upset. Sometimes you cannot understand a person\u2019s motivations.<\/p>\n<p>Clearly, he met someone else and wants to see where that may lead. While that is painful, be glad he told you rather than either just ghosting you or cheating on you.<\/p>\n<p>Give yourself time to mourn this loss, but also get up and go out. Don\u2019t allow yourself to wallow in the pain. The season of sunshine is here. Go out and enjoy it.<\/p>\n<p>Get in touch with friends and do some exploring of your city. Keep busy as you heal your heart.<\/p>\n<p><em>Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c\/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4248\">Who could SF Giants take with fourth pick in 2026 MLB draft?<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Harriette Cole: How do I recover from this rejection?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":92,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4251","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Harriette Cole: I&#8217;ve always gotten what I wanted, until now. 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