{"id":4249,"date":"2026-07-11T08:06:37","date_gmt":"2026-07-11T08:06:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4249"},"modified":"2026-07-11T08:06:37","modified_gmt":"2026-07-11T08:06:37","slug":"dear-abby-i-became-a-wife-at-20-thinking-it-would-give-me-freedom-now-im-not-sure","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4249","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: I became a wife at 20 thinking it would give me freedom. Now I’m not sure."},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR ABBY:<\/strong> I married when I was 20 and my husband was 32. I grew up with a conservative view of marriage, so in a sense, I believed marrying early would grant me the most freedom as a woman.<\/p>\n

Read more Who could SF Giants take with fourth pick in 2026 MLB draft?<\/a><\/p>\n

We have been married for five years and have a child.<\/p>\n

Over the years, many people have offered unsolicited advice about how I \u201cmissed out on my 20s,\u201d or how our age gap is \u201cdisturbing.\u201d I have done my best to brush off these comments, but as I\u2019ve grown and my views about life have evolved, these negative sentiments are becoming constant background voices in my head.<\/p>\n

Our marriage has been generally good except for the expected stressors that come with being parents and other unforeseen struggles. There is also a big disconnect in our intimate life, and I wonder if it is due to our age gap.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know if we are in love or if my view on feeling in love has been romanticized by TV show depictions. My husband is kind, and he has given me the space to become the person I am today.<\/p>\n

My question is: How do I deal with these nagging thoughts that I have missed out on life as a single woman? Am I being ungrateful for the kind and loyal husband I have, or is it OK to explore the possibility of returning to a single life and eventually, maybe, finding love again?<\/p>\n

\u2014 DREAMING OF POSSIBILITIES<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR DREAMING<\/strong>: Have you expressed these thoughts to your husband? If he\u2019s as kind as you say, he should be willing to show you the romance you feel you\u2019ve missed out on.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

I don\u2019t recommend looking for adventure outside the marriage until the two of you have made a sincere effort to satisfy these urges together. If you\u2019re not sure where to start, a licensed couples counselor may be of help.<\/p>\n

Read more Peninsula man charged with pair of burglaries and sexual assaults<\/a><\/p>\n

DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: I work as a sports reporter, and I have been in an on-and-off relationship with my co-worker. We are both out gay men, and I am struggling to figure out how to take our relationship to the next level.<\/p>\n

We both enjoy going on cute dates at sporting events and always get excited when the team puts us on the KissCam. What can I do to convince him that I am boyfriend material and even future husband material?<\/p>\n

\u2014 LOOKING AHEAD IN INDIANA<\/em><\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

DEAR LOOKING:<\/strong> Because you and your co-worker have been dating consistently and kissing on camera, many people in your community may already assume you are a couple. It seems the time has come for a conversation with him about your relationship and whether he thinks there might be a future for the two of you.<\/p>\n

Even if his answer is no, it is important for you to know if the feelings are mutual. Tell him teams do better than individual players, and you hope that by speaking up you won\u2019t strike out.<\/p>\n

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more SF Giants\u2019 bullpen falters at finish line, blows lead in ninth to Rockies<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Five years later, a young bride is having doubts.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":88,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4249","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Abby: I became a wife at 20 thinking it would give me freedom. Now I’m not sure. - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4249\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: I became a wife at 20 thinking it would give me freedom. 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