{"id":4218,"date":"2026-07-10T20:09:43","date_gmt":"2026-07-10T20:09:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4218"},"modified":"2026-07-10T20:09:43","modified_gmt":"2026-07-10T20:09:43","slug":"kristi-noem-divorcing-husband-caught-in-sex-fetish-cross-dressing-secret-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4218","title":{"rendered":"Kristi Noem divorcing husband caught in sex-fetish, cross-dressing ‘secret life’"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n

Kristi Noem\u2019s mother broke the news Friday that the former Homeland Security secretary has begun divorce proceedings against her husband Bryon after 34 years of marriage \u2014 and after it was publicly revealed in March that the insurance agent and father of three allegedly liked to cross-dress as a woman with excessively large breasts while engaging in online affairs with fetish sex workers and dominatrixes from the \u201cbimbofication scene.\u201d<\/p>\n

Read more Palo Alto police investigate more graffiti discoveries as hate crimes<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cI feel bad, sick that they\u2019re getting a divorce, but what else can you do?\u201d Noem\u2019s mother, Corinne Arnold, said in an interview with the Daily Mail published Friday. \u201cIt has been difficult, but we knew this was coming, that they were going to get divorced.\u201d<\/p>\n

Arnold spoke to the Daily Mail during an interview at her home, abutting the South Dakota ranch where her 54-yeear-old daughter, also the state\u2019s former governor, once lived with Bryon, her high school sweetheart and father of her three adult children. But Bryon packed up and moved out of the ranch after the Daily Mail broke the news about his\u00a0 \u201csecret life,\u201d in which he communicated online with female porn performers before and during his wife\u2019s controversial leadership of the DHS.<\/p>\n

During one of these communications, the 56-year-old Bryon Noem shared a now-infamous selfie of himself dressed up in the style of the \u201cbimbofication\u201d scene, which favors a Barbie-doll beauty aesthetic. He squeezed his tall frame into skintight pink shorts and a flesh-colored crop-top, into which he had stuffed two balloons that were supposed to resemble gigantic breasts, as the Daily Mail reported.<\/p>\n

In another exchange with another online performer, with whom the Daily Mail said he had an on-off, nine-year relationship, Bryon Noem discussed his desire to leave his wife and change his gender through surgery and hormone therapy.<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to be a Crystal so bad,\u201d Bryon Noem wrote in a Jan. 11 message to the dominatrix, according to the Daily Mail. \u201cI want to be a woman so bad.\u201d<\/p>\n

That same month, Kristi Noem was overseeing aggressive immigration operations in Minneapolis, where two civilians, Renee Good and Alex Pretti, were shot to death in fatal encounters with Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers.<\/p>\n

During her 14 months as DHS secretary, Noem was dubbed \u201cICE Barbie\u201d because seemed as drawn as her husband to a certain, ultra-feminine beauty aesthetic, which cultural observers at the New York Times, Mother Jones and other outlets said has become favored by women in President Donald Trump\u2019s MAGA circles. For Kristi Noem, that meant wearing cascading hair, heavy make-up and puffed-up lips, including while she donned uniforms and bullet-proof vests while making a show of joining ICE operations.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

In March, Trump fired Kristi Noem from her top job at the DHS. At that time, she also faced intense scrutiny over her alleged affair with senior aide Corey Lewandowski, the Daily Mail reported. Soon after, the Daily Mail broke the news about her husband\u2019s online activities with fetish sex workers. The Daily Beast also interviewed one of Bryon Noem\u2019s alleged online contacts, who said he liked to role-play in a \u201csissy sub\u201d way. The online worker also said he revealed that wearing gigantic fake breasts relaxed him when he felt under stress.<\/p>\n

National Security experts consulted by the Daily Mail in March said that Bryon Noem\u2019s \u201cbrazen behavior\u201d with online porn performers could have left his wife \u2014 in her highly sensitive job at DHS \u2014 vulnerable to blackmail. It\u2019s not known if Bryon\u2019s online activities played a role in his wife\u2019s firing. But she retained a position in the Trump administration. She was reassigned to lead the Shield of the Americas, a small and recently created agency within the State Department, the Daily Mail said.<\/p>\n

Read more NHL\u2019s Sharks buy downtown San Jose office building from Google<\/a><\/p>\n

In her initial response to the controversy about her husband, Kristi Noem said she had been \u201cblindsided\u201d and \u201cdevastated\u201d by the revelations, while asking for privacy and prayers. She also took some time off and flew back home to South Dakota to spend time with family, the Daily Mail revealed.<\/p>\n

At a birthday party for one of her grandchildren, Kristi Noem spoke to her mother about her marriage, the Daily Mail reported.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

\u201cThis was a big party where the whole family was there, Kristi and Bryon, all my kids, all my grandkids,\u201d Arnold said.\u00a0Bryon Noem was holding and hugging the children, \u201clike the old Bryon,\u201d Arnold said.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was very nice,\u201d Arnold told the Daily Mail. \u201cI hugged him, told him I loved him and he said the same.\u201d<\/p>\n

Arnold said her daughter was a bit less open. \u201cFinally, I said: \u2018What\u2019s the deal? Are you going to get together again?’\u201d Arnold said she asked. \u201cAnd she said: \u2018No. No. We\u2019re going to get a divorce.’\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s sad,\u201d Arnold continued. \u2018You have to remember that Bryon\u2019s been in our family for many years.\u201d<\/p>\n

Kristi and Bryon Noem met in high school, married in 1992, and are parents to two daughters, 32 and 29, and a son, 24, the Daily Mail reported.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe sad part is that he\u2019s a grandpa,\u201d Arnold continued. \u201cAnd the little kiddies love him. We all love him, like you would your family.\u201d<\/p>\n

Read more Who is Telemachus, again? Circe? A guide to the characters of Christopher Nolan\u2019s \u2018The Odyssey\u2019<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

‘It\u2019s sad,’ Kristi Noem’s mother said about the scandal and her daughter’s impending divorce. ‘You have to remember that Bryon\u2019s been in our family for many years.’<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4217,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4218","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"yoast_head":"\nKristi Noem divorcing husband caught in sex-fetish, cross-dressing ‘secret life’ - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4218\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Kristi Noem divorcing husband caught in sex-fetish, cross-dressing ‘secret life’ - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"'It\u2019s sad,' Kristi Noem's mother said about the scandal and her daughter's impending divorce. 'You have to remember that Bryon\u2019s been in our family for many years.'\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4218\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-07-10T20:09:43+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4218#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4218\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Kristi Noem divorcing husband caught in sex-fetish, cross-dressing ‘secret life’\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-10T20:09:43+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4218\"},\"wordCount\":913,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4218#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/4afda27082833ce21c04380f8de8fcbc.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"News\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4218#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4218\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4218\",\"name\":\"Kristi Noem divorcing husband caught in sex-fetish, cross-dressing ‘secret life’ - Next City Digest\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4218#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4218#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/4afda27082833ce21c04380f8de8fcbc.webp\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-10T20:09:43+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4218#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4218\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4218#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/4afda27082833ce21c04380f8de8fcbc.webp\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/4afda27082833ce21c04380f8de8fcbc.webp\",\"width\":1024,\"height\":682},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=4218#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Kristi Noem divorcing husband caught in sex-fetish, cross-dressing ‘secret life’\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"Next City Digest\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\",\"name\":\"admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"admin\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Kristi Noem divorcing husband caught in sex-fetish, cross-dressing ‘secret life’ - Next City Digest","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4218","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Kristi Noem divorcing husband caught in sex-fetish, cross-dressing ‘secret life’ - Next City Digest","og_description":"'It\u2019s sad,' Kristi Noem's mother said about the scandal and her daughter's impending divorce. 'You have to remember that Bryon\u2019s been in our family for many years.'","og_url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4218","og_site_name":"Next City Digest","article_published_time":"2026-07-10T20:09:43+00:00","author":"admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"admin","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4218#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4218"},"author":{"name":"admin","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b"},"headline":"Kristi Noem divorcing husband caught in sex-fetish, cross-dressing ‘secret life’","datePublished":"2026-07-10T20:09:43+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4218"},"wordCount":913,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4218#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/4afda27082833ce21c04380f8de8fcbc.webp","articleSection":["News"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4218#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4218","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4218","name":"Kristi Noem divorcing husband caught in sex-fetish, cross-dressing ‘secret life’ - Next City Digest","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4218#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4218#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/4afda27082833ce21c04380f8de8fcbc.webp","datePublished":"2026-07-10T20:09:43+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4218#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4218"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4218#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/4afda27082833ce21c04380f8de8fcbc.webp","contentUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/4afda27082833ce21c04380f8de8fcbc.webp","width":1024,"height":682},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4218#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Kristi Noem divorcing husband caught in sex-fetish, cross-dressing ‘secret life’"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/","name":"Next City Digest","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b","name":"admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"admin"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/nextcitydigest.com"],"url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?author=1"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4218","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4218"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4218\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4217"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4218"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4218"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4218"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}