{"id":4024,"date":"2026-07-08T09:06:19","date_gmt":"2026-07-08T09:06:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4024"},"modified":"2026-07-08T09:06:19","modified_gmt":"2026-07-08T09:06:19","slug":"harriette-cole-my-partner-wants-me-to-be-reliant-on-him-but-thats-just-not-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4024","title":{"rendered":"Harriette Cole: My partner wants me to be reliant on him, but that&#8217;s just not me"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<div>\n<p><strong>DEAR HARRIETTE<\/strong>: I am someone who tries to be as independent as I can be. I do not like to rely on others since you never know what can happen in a relationship. It is honestly not anyone else\u2019s responsibility to take care of you.<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4023\">Miss Manners: I\u2019m caught off guard by this question, every time<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Oddly enough, my partner enjoys the traditional masculine role of being a provider, and this is one of the reasons we argue often \u2014 I do not always leave space for him to show his love. This takes a lot of adjusting and feeling safe around your partner.<\/p>\n<p>I am not sure why he feels that this is the only way he can show up for me, though I try to meet him where he\u2019s at. I know I can come off a bit strong, so I\u2019m trying not to change him, but I want him to recognize a more holistic view of himself.<\/p>\n<p>How do I work on being more comfortable with relying on people?<\/p>\n<p><em>\u2014 Lean on Someone<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR LEAN ON SOMEONE<\/strong>: Being a good partner and even simply a good friend requires being a good listener and learning what makes the other person tick.<\/p>\n<p>You are learning what makes you happy. What about him? If gestures of protection and care are important to him, can you find a way to make space for some of that? Take a breath and observe the moment.<\/p>\n<p>How can you best show up in this relationship? Sometimes it may be by simply being present and watching how things unfold. This way, you will learn what you like about your partner\u2019s attentiveness and what doesn\u2019t work.<\/p>\n<div>\n<\/div>\n<p><strong>DEAR HARRIETTE:<\/strong> I have always liked to experiment with sewing my own garments. In my culture, it is common for people to make their own clothes or at least be able to repair what they buy.<\/p>\n<p>As time goes on, skills like sewing have become more uncommon, especially here in the United States. Developing these skills at such a young age helped shape my relationship with clothes. I have been able to hone this craft over time, turning something I did as a hobby into a skill.<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4022\">Dear Abby: These messages I found on my wife\u2019s computer are killing me<\/a><\/p>\n<p>I find myself eager to learn more about business and potentially open my own retail store. I know it\u2019s a big dream; however, I think it would be something I would be interested in as a career.<\/p>\n<p>What are some questions you think I should ask myself before moving forward with entrepreneurship?<\/p>\n<div>\n<\/div>\n<p><em>\u2014 Sewerpreneur<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR SEWERPRENEUR<\/strong>: Being able to sew is a clear asset and a skill that can be turned into a business. Think big. What would you like to do with your skill?<\/p>\n<p>The choices vary widely. You can work in a production space for a designer, making clothes or finishing pieces. You can specialize in alterations and work for a bridal designer or a dry cleaner or tailor. Or what about being a fashion designer yourself?<\/p>\n<p>Getting training is a good idea, either from a vocational or a design school. Look for businesses that you admire, and find out if you can get an internship there to learn what they do.<\/p>\n<p><em>Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c\/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4021\">Study: This Bay Area county has area\u2019s lowest threat risk, home insurance costs<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>He enjoys the traditional masculine role.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":92,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4024","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Harriette Cole: My partner wants me to be reliant on him, but that&#8217;s just not me - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=4024\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Harriette Cole: My partner wants me to be reliant on him, but that&#8217;s just not me - 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