{"id":3862,"date":"2026-07-06T08:07:47","date_gmt":"2026-07-06T08:07:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3862"},"modified":"2026-07-06T08:07:47","modified_gmt":"2026-07-06T08:07:47","slug":"dear-abby-i-feel-awkward-about-my-dealings-with-our-former-neighbor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3862","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: I feel awkward about my dealings with our former neighbor"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n

DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: A former next-door neighbor and casual friend has been obliging and assisted us several times since we\u2019ve moved.<\/p>\n

Read more Word Game: July 5, 2026<\/a><\/p>\n

I feel we need to express our gratitude without making it seem like a payment.<\/p>\n

My wife and I now live about 15 minutes away from her, and we have no family within a 45-minute drive. During our few extended trips each year, this former neighbor has checked in on our cats, taken in packages and harvested from our garden to enhance proper growth, etc.<\/p>\n

Of course, while she was caring for the garden, she could keep what she harvested. But I\u2019m beginning to feel awkward about asking her for help because that\u2019s the only time we call on her.<\/p>\n

We have had dinner with her and her boyfriend at her place, about twice a year, but that\u2019s more effort on her part. This has been the pattern for about seven years.<\/p>\n

Please, I need a suitable gift idea.<\/p>\n

\u2014 AWKWARD GIFTER IN NEW YORK<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR GIFTER<\/strong>: How about taking your former neighbor and her boyfriend out for a nice dinner? Or, host them for dinner at your home, offer them tickets to a concert or a play, or bring her back a gift from your travels. I am sure she and her boyfriend will appreciate the thoughtful gesture.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: My wife and I have been married 10 years. Before that we dated for several years. We have a wonderful relationship in many ways, but we\u2019ve never had the kind of sex life I would prefer.<\/p>\n

For a long time, we would talk about it and try to find ways to improve things. That communication at least made me feel like this was something we both wanted to improve.<\/p>\n

Read more Who\u2019s playing in the World Cup today? TV schedule for July 5<\/a><\/p>\n

Two years ago, my wife had weight-loss surgery. Since then, our sex life has gone from bad to worse. In that time, I can count on one hand the times we\u2019ve been intimate. We also no longer talk about how we can improve things.<\/p>\n

Prior to the surgery, her struggle with her weight was one of the things that she cited as a (potential) cause for her low sex drive, so I was hoping things would improve. Instead, it seems like she has now lost all<\/em> interest. I tried getting her a product that claimed to boost libido in women, but she never even opened it. It\u2019s as if she has no interest in being interested in sex.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

I\u2019m becoming increasingly frustrated with the situation (men want to be wanted, too), and I don\u2019t know what to do. Help, please.<\/p>\n

\u2014 FRUSTRATED IN MICHIGAN<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR FRUSTRATED:<\/strong> I will be frank. I am not sure if, under these circumstances, your marriage can be saved.<\/p>\n

Tell your wife you would like both of you to discuss this problem with her doctor and ask for a referral to an endocrinologist, a physician who specializes in hormones, who may be able to help her. However, if she refuses, unless you are resigned to living the rest of your life in a sexless marriage, you may have to consider divorce.<\/p>\n

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Erling Haaland scores twice to beat Brazil, send Norway into World Cup quarterfinals for 1st time<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Plus: My wife’s weight loss surgery made our sex life even worse.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":88,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3862","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Abby: I feel awkward about my dealings with our former neighbor - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3862\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: I feel awkward about my dealings with our former neighbor - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Plus: My wife's weight loss surgery made our sex life even worse.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3862\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-07-06T08:07:47+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3862#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3862\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Dear Abby: I feel awkward about my dealings with our former neighbor\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-06T08:07:47+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3862\"},\"wordCount\":604,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3862#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3862#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3862\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3862\",\"name\":\"Dear Abby: I feel awkward about my dealings with our former neighbor - Next City Digest\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3862#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3862#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-06T08:07:47+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3862#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3862\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3862#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp\",\"width\":1024,\"height\":614},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3862#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Dear Abby: I feel awkward about my dealings with our former neighbor\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"Next City Digest\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\",\"name\":\"admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"admin\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Dear Abby: I feel awkward about my dealings with our former neighbor - Next City Digest","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3862","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Dear Abby: I feel awkward about my dealings with our former neighbor - Next City Digest","og_description":"Plus: My wife's weight loss surgery made our sex life even worse.","og_url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3862","og_site_name":"Next City Digest","article_published_time":"2026-07-06T08:07:47+00:00","author":"admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"admin","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3862#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3862"},"author":{"name":"admin","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b"},"headline":"Dear Abby: I feel awkward about my dealings with our former neighbor","datePublished":"2026-07-06T08:07:47+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3862"},"wordCount":604,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3862#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp","articleSection":["Advice"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3862#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3862","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3862","name":"Dear Abby: I feel awkward about my dealings with our former neighbor - Next City Digest","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3862#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3862#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp","datePublished":"2026-07-06T08:07:47+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3862#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3862"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3862#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp","contentUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp","width":1024,"height":614},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3862#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Dear Abby: I feel awkward about my dealings with our former neighbor"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/","name":"Next City Digest","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b","name":"admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"admin"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/nextcitydigest.com"],"url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?author=1"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3862","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3862"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3862\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/88"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3862"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3862"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3862"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}