{"id":3795,"date":"2026-07-05T08:11:46","date_gmt":"2026-07-05T08:11:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3795"},"modified":"2026-07-05T08:11:46","modified_gmt":"2026-07-05T08:11:46","slug":"dear-abby-im-facing-a-rom-com-decision-and-im-terrified-ill-choose-wrong","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3795","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: I’m facing a rom-com decision, and I’m terrified I’ll choose wrong"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: After a tumultuous breakup, I reconnected with two men through friends. I\u2019ve known and liked them both for years.<\/p>\n

Read more SF Giants\u2019 Webb, Arraez named to 2026 National League All-Star team<\/a><\/p>\n

One lives in Europe; the other lives here in New York. Both are wonderful, respectful and caring, and I feel beyond lucky. Both say they are in love with me and want to pursue a serious future.<\/p>\n

Call me crazy, but I love them both for different reasons. How do I possibly choose?<\/p>\n

Do I choose the romantic European dreamer who makes me believe in magic but may eventually annoy me with his dreams and lack of action, plus the citizenship challenges? He\u2019s fun, romantic, spontaneous and lets me embrace all of me. I feel so alive and loved, but I\u2019m unsure if it would fade once kids and real life are in the picture.<\/p>\n

Or do I build a safer future with the brilliant and calming stateside friend? He is deeply empathetic, hardworking, introverted and creative. I worry that we are only friends at our core and that I could grow bored or tired of his deep emotions.<\/p>\n

What is most important in a life partner? I\u2019m terrified to choose the wrong one. I like who I am with for different reasons when I\u2019m with each of them.<\/p>\n

\u2014 FACING A BIG DECISION<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR FACING:<\/strong> I\u2019m trying to imagine being lucky enough to be in your position. How do I choose? Hmmmm.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

I can spend my life with a romantic European dreamer who doesn\u2019t always follow through, knowing there may be citizenship challenges. What if I have kids with this adorable Peter Pan (with a sexy accent)? Whoa! The responsibility could be completely on my shoulders.<\/p>\n

Or should I choose to spend my life with an empathetic, hardworking, creative man (who I assume does<\/em> follow through)? Oh, what a hard choice to make. If you plan on having a family, one would hope you\u2019d opt for the love and stability this one would provide.<\/p>\n

Read more Barricaded Antioch man arrested after hours-long negotiations with police<\/a><\/p>\n

Of course, how this plays out is up to you. I know whom I would choose, but perhaps my values are different.<\/p>\n

Continue seeing both of these suitors and let them know you are seeing them both. If you do, in time, your decision may come more easily.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: I am a student in high school. If I study hard now for my future, will happiness be guaranteed in the future? Is it meaningful to study if you only get stressed in the present and when you grow up in the future?<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not sure if studying will guarantee happiness when I grow up. If I keep studying like this, will I be really happy later on?<\/p>\n

\u2014 DEFINING HAPPINESS IN S. KOREA<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR DEFINING<\/strong>: Happiness means different things to different people. What is important to me and makes me happy may not do the same for you or anyone else.<\/p>\n

I know that students face a lot of pressure to succeed, but the end result is usually worth it. You will be better able to provide for yourself and your family, if you decide to have one. However, there are no guarantees.<\/p>\n

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Photos: America marks 250 years of independence with parades and fireworks<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Romantic dreamer or hard-working introvert? I love them both.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":88,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3795","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Abby: I’m facing a rom-com decision, and I’m terrified I’ll choose wrong - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3795\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: I’m facing a rom-com decision, and I’m terrified I’ll choose wrong - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Romantic dreamer or hard-working introvert? 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