{"id":3632,"date":"2026-07-03T09:06:41","date_gmt":"2026-07-03T09:06:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3632"},"modified":"2026-07-03T09:06:41","modified_gmt":"2026-07-03T09:06:41","slug":"harriette-cole-is-this-a-stupid-reason-for-turning-down-a-job","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3632","title":{"rendered":"Harriette Cole: Is this a stupid reason for turning down a job?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR HARRIETTE:<\/strong> I was offered a job, but I am on the fence about taking it; I want to know if my reasoning is stupid.<\/p>\n

Read more Miss Manners: Would an American just call out for more food?<\/a><\/p>\n

I\u2019m 19, and I don\u2019t necessarily need a job, but I would like one to pay off my credit cards faster.<\/p>\n

I got permission from the boss to miss a week at the end of June due to my best friend coming to visit me in New York right before my birthday. We\u2019ve had this planned for months, and I knew immediately to let my prospective boss know.<\/p>\n

Then, a few days ago, I informed her that my family wants to fly me home in early July to celebrate my actual birthday, and I desperately want to go. I haven\u2019t been home in months, and I am honestly a little homesick, which is something I never thought I would say about Ohio.<\/p>\n

I asked if it would be possible for me to miss that second week to go home, and she hasn\u2019t gotten back to me.<\/p>\n

I am prepared to turn down the job if she tells me I can\u2019t. Do you think that\u2019s irresponsible?<\/p>\n

I feel like this is the only time of my life that I\u2019ll be able to do something like this.<\/p>\n

\u2014 Homesick Student<\/em><\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

DEAR HOMESICK STUDENT<\/strong>: Your request for back-to-back weeks off at the last minute is unreasonable. You have accepted a job, and with it come responsibilities.<\/p>\n

Your boss is relying on you to be present when you have agreed to be. If you were to quit because you want to go home for a week, you might end up with a negative reference.<\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: My stepsons cut us off because we won\u2019t join the family compound<\/a><\/p>\n

Speak to your boss to find out if there is any way they can accommodate your late request. Acknowledge that you know it\u2019s a lot to ask. Point out how homesick you are and that you would greatly appreciate it.<\/p>\n

If she cannot accommodate you, ask your family to host something special for you a bit later. You can delay the fun.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

DEAR HARRIETTE<\/strong>: I work in event planning at a club in a major city near my hometown. Girls who used to bully me and make my life miserable in high school keep DMing me, trying to get onto guest lists and into events.<\/p>\n

I keep ignoring them or telling them I can\u2019t; however, they keep persisting.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to seem like I hold grudges, but I also don\u2019t want to see the girls who tormented me every day of high school walking around my place of work intoxicated \u2014 that genuinely sounds like my worst nightmare.<\/p>\n

Do you think I\u2019m being immature for not inviting them out? Clearly, they want to come, but I don\u2019t want them here. Am I being petty?<\/p>\n

\u2014 Ain\u2019t No Crying in the Club<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR AIN\u2019T NO CRYING IN THE CLUB<\/strong>: You are under no obligation to give these girls a pass to come to the club. Continue to ignore them unless you think they would be good for business.<\/p>\n

If their presence would benefit the big picture and make you look good to your boss, then for strategic purposes you could invite them. If they misbehave, don\u2019t give them access again.<\/p>\n

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c\/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more San Leandro man acquitted of murder but convicted of manslaughter in Castro Valley shooting<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Plus: The girls who used to bully me want to be on the guest list where I work.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":92,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3632","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nHarriette Cole: Is this a stupid reason for turning down a job? - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3632\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Harriette Cole: Is this a stupid reason for turning down a job? - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Plus: The girls who used to bully me want to be on the guest list where I work.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3632\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-07-03T09:06:41+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3632#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3632\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Harriette Cole: Is this a stupid reason for turning down a job?\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-03T09:06:41+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3632\"},\"wordCount\":644,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3632#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3632#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3632\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3632\",\"name\":\"Harriette Cole: Is this a stupid reason for turning down a job? 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