{"id":3447,"date":"2026-07-01T09:37:09","date_gmt":"2026-07-01T09:37:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3447"},"modified":"2026-07-01T09:37:09","modified_gmt":"2026-07-01T09:37:09","slug":"asking-eric-my-wife-is-heartbroken-about-her-no-contact-daughter-and-im-just-angry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3447","title":{"rendered":"Asking Eric: My wife is heartbroken about her no-contact daughter, and I’m just angry"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n

Dear Eric:<\/strong> I met my wife about 20 years ago. Her three kids were in their teens.<\/p>\n

The oldest, a daughter, has always been needy and played the victim. Over the years, we have given her a car; driven her to work before she got her license; gave her a living room set when she ran off and got married; drove three states away to pick her up when that husband got thrown in jail; bailed her out of jail when she and her second husband got thrown in jail; let her live with us rent free. The list goes on.<\/p>\n

Read more Harriette Cole: I ask for a little favor and my boyfriend blows up at me<\/a><\/p>\n

She married a third time, to a decent man, and had two kids. They don\u2019t have the same lifestyle we do, but they seem happy.<\/p>\n

About a year ago, she decided to cut us out of her life, no explanation other than she was going to do it. It seems to me, correct me if I\u2019m wrong, to be a sort of trend now.<\/p>\n

While I\u2019m OK with it, this has hurt my wife more than I can describe. I feel so absolutely awful for my wife; her heartbreak has broken my heart. Not only am I heartbroken for my wife, I am beyond angry at her daughter.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve thought that maybe I could reach out and try to help smooth things over, but the longer it\u2019s lasted, the angrier I\u2019ve become, and I don\u2019t think I could make things better.<\/p>\n

Any directional advice would be greatly appreciated.<\/p>\n

\u2013 Two Broken Hearts<\/em><\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Dear Hearts:<\/strong> I\u2019m so sorry for the pain your wife is experiencing and the pain that\u2019s impacting your whole family system.<\/p>\n

Because you\u2019re, rightfully, feeling so much emotion right now, it may be more effective for someone else to reach out to your wife\u2019s daughter \u2013 one of the other children perhaps \u2013 to get some information about what she\u2019s thinking and how you might approach reconciliation.<\/p>\n

This kind of break doesn\u2019t come out of nowhere, although often it feels that way to one or both sides. This isn\u2019t to say that your wife is at fault. That\u2019s not for me to adjudicate. Rather, the roots of the problem are likely deep and complex. They also likely predate the time that you joined the family.<\/p>\n

None of this makes the situation unsolvable. But your wife\u2019s daughter has to be willing to come to the table and communicate.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Until such time, the best thing you can do for your wife is to help her to process. Consider asking her if she\u2019d join you in family therapy, a space where she can talk about the heartbreak she\u2019s feeling and, likely, the anger. This won\u2019t make it all go away, but it will better prepare her to have a productive conversation with her daughter one day.<\/p>\n

Read more Miss Manners: Also, there are finger-snapping gangs in my alley<\/a><\/p>\n

Dear Eric:<\/strong> Regarding the person who wrote to you about forgetting appointments due to memory issues (\u201cFoiled Again\u201d), I too started experiencing this, especially after I retired and wasn\u2019t facing a screen displaying an e-calendar all day.<\/p>\n

After a few embarrassing incidents, I realized that if I didn\u2019t write things down, they likely wouldn\u2019t happen. I decided to buy a diary\/calendar book.<\/p>\n

I made it fun by looking at a lot of different styles. The most important characteristics were that it was attractive, fun to write in, and small enough to fit in my bag. I splurged and chose a 5-by-7 black leather book with gold embossed designs on the cover, stickers, tabs for each month,\u00a0pages showing full months as well as individual days, and three bookmarks. I use only pencil in the book because things change a lot!<\/p>\n

I keep it close at all times, not only to write down appointments, but also to help with scheduling recurring activities (when was my last hair or dentist appointment?) and to remind myself of upcoming events. On days when I don\u2019t have anything scheduled, I like to note whatever activities took place that day: grocery, bank, post office, etc.<\/p>\n

The diary has been invaluable and fun to use, so there is no shame in my game! We all need a little help now and again.<\/p>\n

\u2013 66 in California<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear 66:<\/strong> A paper calendar is a great idea; I particularly like that you did the work to make it visually appealing.<\/p>\n

Others suggested depending on reminders and calendar features on a smartphone (there\u2019s even a feature on most phones that will show a reminder when you return to a location, like a hair salon). Another idea: always keeping the same day\/time for specific appointments.<\/p>\n

All great. The takeaway is that sometimes the memory doesn\u2019t work like we want and so it behooves us all to find the solutions that work for us.<\/p>\n

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Who\u2019s playing in the World Cup today? TV schedule for July 1 with USA-Bosnia<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Eric Thomas: After all the help we’ve given her, she offered no explanation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":94,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3447","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nAsking Eric: My wife is heartbroken about her no-contact daughter, and I’m just angry - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3447\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Asking Eric: My wife is heartbroken about her no-contact daughter, and I’m just angry - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Eric Thomas: After all the help we've given her, she offered no explanation.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3447\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-07-01T09:37:09+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3447#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3447\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Asking Eric: My wife is heartbroken about her no-contact daughter, and I’m just angry\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-01T09:37:09+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3447\"},\"wordCount\":899,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3447#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/348037f2d10eefdb0c5700288103d0d5.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3447#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3447\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3447\",\"name\":\"Asking Eric: My wife is heartbroken about her no-contact daughter, and I’m just angry - Next City Digest\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3447#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3447#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/348037f2d10eefdb0c5700288103d0d5.webp\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-01T09:37:09+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3447#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3447\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3447#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/348037f2d10eefdb0c5700288103d0d5.webp\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/348037f2d10eefdb0c5700288103d0d5.webp\",\"width\":1024,\"height\":629},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3447#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Asking Eric: My wife is heartbroken about her no-contact daughter, and I’m just angry\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"Next City Digest\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\",\"name\":\"admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"admin\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Asking Eric: My wife is heartbroken about her no-contact daughter, and I’m just angry - Next City Digest","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3447","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Asking Eric: My wife is heartbroken about her no-contact daughter, and I’m just angry - Next City Digest","og_description":"Eric Thomas: After all the help we've given her, she offered no explanation.","og_url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3447","og_site_name":"Next City Digest","article_published_time":"2026-07-01T09:37:09+00:00","author":"admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"admin","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3447#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3447"},"author":{"name":"admin","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b"},"headline":"Asking Eric: My wife is heartbroken about her no-contact daughter, and I’m just angry","datePublished":"2026-07-01T09:37:09+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3447"},"wordCount":899,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3447#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/348037f2d10eefdb0c5700288103d0d5.webp","articleSection":["Advice"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3447#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3447","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3447","name":"Asking Eric: My wife is heartbroken about her no-contact daughter, and I’m just angry - Next City Digest","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3447#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3447#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/348037f2d10eefdb0c5700288103d0d5.webp","datePublished":"2026-07-01T09:37:09+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3447#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3447"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3447#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/348037f2d10eefdb0c5700288103d0d5.webp","contentUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/348037f2d10eefdb0c5700288103d0d5.webp","width":1024,"height":629},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3447#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Asking Eric: My wife is heartbroken about her no-contact daughter, and I’m just angry"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/","name":"Next City Digest","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b","name":"admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"admin"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/nextcitydigest.com"],"url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?author=1"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3447","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3447"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3447\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/94"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3447"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3447"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3447"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}