{"id":3446,"date":"2026-07-01T09:08:59","date_gmt":"2026-07-01T09:08:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3446"},"modified":"2026-07-01T09:08:59","modified_gmt":"2026-07-01T09:08:59","slug":"harriette-cole-i-ask-for-a-little-favor-and-my-boyfriend-blows-up-at-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3446","title":{"rendered":"Harriette Cole: I ask for a little favor and my boyfriend blows up at me"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<div>\n<p><strong>DEAR HARRIETTE:<\/strong> I have been dating my boyfriend for six months. Most of the time, he is a really great guy. He takes me out on thoughtful dates and is a great communicator.<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3445\">Miss Manners: Also, there are finger-snapping gangs in my alley<\/a><\/p>\n<p>However, sometimes when I ask him to do a small favor for me such as opening a pickle jar or getting me a glass of water, he will blow up at me. He starts yelling that I can\u2019t do anything for myself and how entitled I am. I feel so hurt by this because when you love somebody, little favors like this shouldn\u2019t be an issue.<\/p>\n<p>What confuses me is that these reactions come completely out of nowhere. Most days he is kind and attentive, and he goes out of his way to make me feel cared for. That is why it is so shocking when something as simple as asking for help triggers such an intense response.<\/p>\n<p>I am not asking him to do everything for me, nor do I expect him to wait on me. These are occasional favors that I would gladly do for him if the situation were reversed.<\/p>\n<p>The first few times it happened, I brushed it off and assumed he was having a bad day. Everyone gets stressed or frustrated sometimes. Now that it has happened multiple times, I am starting to notice a pattern.<\/p>\n<p>Do you think that this is a red flag and that I should break up with him because it could turn into more aggressive behavior as our relationship develops?<\/p>\n<p><em>\u2014 Triggered<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR TRIGGERED<\/strong>: Ask your boyfriend about growing up and what the dynamics were like between his parents in his home (or between the people who cared for him). My guess is that he observed his father having a short fuse with his mom that triggers a dramatic reaction in him now with you.<\/p>\n<div>\n<\/div>\n<p>Do your best to find out about the relationship dynamics that he witnessed as a child. Then, in a calm moment, tell him how you feel about his reaction to you when you ask him for help. Let him know that you find it unreasonable and extreme. See if you can talk through your values on this and come to a peaceful resolution.<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3444\">Who\u2019s playing in the World Cup today? TV schedule for July 1 with USA-Bosnia<\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR HARRIETTE:<\/strong> I was dating this guy last year, and we had a really nice time. Something happened and we had an argument, and he ghosted me. He literally blocked me on social media.<\/p>\n<p>That hurt my feelings terribly. I went about my life, but I have continued to see him here and there because he lives in my neighborhood. I saw him the other day and got so excited. I know I shouldn\u2019t, but I\u2019m genuinely attracted to him.<\/p>\n<p>I called him, but it went to voicemail, and he sent me an automatic message to call back later.<\/p>\n<div>\n<\/div>\n<p>Should I try him again? Something in me wants to see him. Maybe it will be different now that time has passed.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u2014 Unghost Me<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR UNGHOST ME<\/strong>: No. He couldn\u2019t be clearer. He doesn\u2019t want to communicate with you. Let him go.<\/p>\n<p><em>Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c\/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3442\">Mexico fans use a homophobic chant during the World Cup match against Ecuador<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The first few times, I just thought he was having a bad day. But is this a red flag?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":92,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3446","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Harriette Cole: I ask for a little favor and my boyfriend blows up at me - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3446\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Harriette Cole: I ask for a little favor and my boyfriend blows up at me - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The first few times, I just thought he was having a bad day. But is this a red flag?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3446\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-07-01T09:08:59+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3446#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3446\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Harriette Cole: I ask for a little favor and my boyfriend blows up at me\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-01T09:08:59+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3446\"},\"wordCount\":613,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3446#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3446#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3446\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3446\",\"name\":\"Harriette Cole: I ask for a little favor and my boyfriend blows up at me - Next City Digest\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3446#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3446#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-01T09:08:59+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3446#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3446\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3446#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp\",\"width\":1024,\"height\":614},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=3446#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Harriette Cole: I ask for a little favor and my boyfriend blows up at me\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"Next City Digest\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\",\"name\":\"admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"admin\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Harriette Cole: I ask for a little favor and my boyfriend blows up at me - Next City Digest","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3446","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Harriette Cole: I ask for a little favor and my boyfriend blows up at me - Next City Digest","og_description":"The first few times, I just thought he was having a bad day. But is this a red flag?","og_url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3446","og_site_name":"Next City Digest","article_published_time":"2026-07-01T09:08:59+00:00","author":"admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"admin","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3446#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3446"},"author":{"name":"admin","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b"},"headline":"Harriette Cole: I ask for a little favor and my boyfriend blows up at me","datePublished":"2026-07-01T09:08:59+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3446"},"wordCount":613,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3446#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp","articleSection":["Advice"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3446#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3446","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3446","name":"Harriette Cole: I ask for a little favor and my boyfriend blows up at me - Next City Digest","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3446#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3446#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp","datePublished":"2026-07-01T09:08:59+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3446#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3446"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3446#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp","contentUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp","width":1024,"height":614},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=3446#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Harriette Cole: I ask for a little favor and my boyfriend blows up at me"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/","name":"Next City Digest","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b","name":"admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"admin"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/nextcitydigest.com"],"url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?author=1"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3446","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3446"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3446\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/92"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3446"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3446"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3446"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}