{"id":2915,"date":"2026-06-24T08:07:34","date_gmt":"2026-06-24T08:07:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2915"},"modified":"2026-06-24T08:07:34","modified_gmt":"2026-06-24T08:07:34","slug":"dear-abby-after-her-confession-i-no-longer-see-her-as-my-wife","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2915","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: After her confession, I no longer see her as my wife"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: More than 20 years ago, my wife and I were separated. We still spent time together, had marital relations and went on trips with our kids.<\/p>\n

Read more SF Giants\u2019 Devers apologizes to Vitello for \u2018misunderstanding\u2019, blames media for blowing things out of proportion<\/a><\/p>\n

During that period, two individuals who were supposed to be my friends started talking to my wife behind my back. They knew I was trying to win my family back, but they said things calculated to make her angry. Because they had crossed a line, I ended my friendships with them.<\/p>\n

Fourteen years passed, and I bumped into one of them. I was with my wife at the time. I wanted to quash our differences, so I spoke to him. I noticed something weird between him and my wife, and that stuck in my head.<\/p>\n

When we got home, I asked if something happened between them, and she said no. But then she confessed that she had gone out with him a few times. She said he wanted to have sex with her, but it didn\u2019t happen.<\/p>\n

The way she said it sounded weird to me, and I had the feeling she wasn\u2019t being truthful.<\/p>\n

Seven years later, she admitted something did<\/em> happen. Now I feel betrayed and angry that she allowed something to go on with someone who was my enemy. I no longer see her as my wife. I feel I can\u2019t trust her.<\/p>\n

She told me she is sorry for what happened and said she had been afraid to tell me about it. She doesn\u2019t want to separate or divorce. She says she loves me.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t think. Can you tell me what you think about all this?<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

\u2014 BROKEN TRUST IN NEW YORK<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR BROKEN:<\/strong> I think your friends added fuel to the fire when you and your wife were having marital difficulties. I also think she was emotionally vulnerable, was taken advantage of and was afraid to level with you.<\/p>\n

I do not think you should automatically end your long marriage over something that might be able to be resolved by working with a licensed marriage and family therapist. Please give it serious consideration.<\/p>\n

Read more \u2018May god have mercy on your soul\u2019: Man sentenced in girlfriend\u2019s shooting death at Fremont hotel<\/a><\/p>\n

DEAR ABBY:<\/strong> My 31-year-old son lives with us. He has had an on-again, off-again drinking problem since his 20s. He is kind-hearted, has an associate\u2019s degree and is back in college again, but he\u2019s never had a full-time steady job.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

He doesn\u2019t seem to be finding a job, although he has applied for some.<\/p>\n

We buy his clothes and give him room and board. He studies, and helps around our house with cleaning, washing, etc., but I don\u2019t know how to help him stop drinking.<\/p>\n

He sometimes gets mean when he\u2019s drunk. He doesn\u2019t drink every day, but about 12 days out of the month, he gets really drunk at home.<\/p>\n

Please give me advice.<\/p>\n

\u2014 STRESSED MOM IN NEW YORK<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR MOM:<\/strong> You and your husband need to find an Al-Anon meeting and go. When you do, you will find emotional support for what I am suggesting next.<\/p>\n

Tell your kind-hearted, sometimes mean, functional alcoholic son you and his father are giving him a deadline to get into an alcohol rehabilitation program and find a full-time job, or he will have to move out. Then stick to it.<\/p>\n

Your kindness and understanding have enabled your son to continue his unproductive and unhealthy lifestyle, which isn\u2019t good for any of you.<\/p>\n

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more \u2018Looking for bodies\u2019: FBI, other agencies descend on Miranda\u2019s Rescue to dig for further evidence<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

She said she had been afraid to tell me and she doesn’t want us to split up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":88,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2915","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Abby: After her confession, I no longer see her as my wife - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2915\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: After her confession, I no longer see her as my wife - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"She said she had been afraid to tell me and she doesn't want us to split up.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2915\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-06-24T08:07:34+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2915#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2915\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Dear Abby: After her confession, I no longer see her as my wife\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-06-24T08:07:34+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2915\"},\"wordCount\":669,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2915#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2915#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2915\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2915\",\"name\":\"Dear Abby: After her confession, I no longer see her as my wife - 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