{"id":2670,"date":"2026-06-21T08:39:20","date_gmt":"2026-06-21T08:39:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2670"},"modified":"2026-06-21T08:39:20","modified_gmt":"2026-06-21T08:39:20","slug":"dear-abby-am-i-reading-too-much-into-my-boyfriends-family-dinner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2670","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: Am I reading too much into my boyfriend’s family dinner?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n

DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: I have been dating a wonderful man for 10 months. He was married for 45 years until his wife died after a five-year illness.<\/p>\n

Read more Today in History: June 21, first privately funded space vehicle takes flight<\/a><\/p>\n

He is kind, thoughtful, smart, generous and romantic. Our relationship is exclusive, and things could hardly be better.<\/p>\n

Recently, he and one of his grown daughters and her family gathered for dinner to commemorate his wedding anniversary. I thought it was a little strange. She has been gone for two years, and I found myself feeling somewhat hurt.<\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t invited to the dinner, which doesn\u2019t bother me, but I can\u2019t escape the feeling that, on some level, he still feels married. Accordingly, I feel as though I\u2019m dating a married man, which I would never do.<\/p>\n

As we are not able to easily work through this, he suggested I write you and get your take.<\/p>\n

Am I being unreasonable and reading too much into this? Is it possible that he is not yet ready for a new relationship? Should I request (or insist) that he refrain from such \u201ccelebrations\u201d in the future?<\/p>\n

\u2014 NOT A CHEATER IN INDIANA<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR NOT A CHEATER:<\/strong> Your gentleman friend had nearly 50 years of history with his late wife. If he and their adult children chose to celebrate the anniversary of their marriage, it was no skin off your nose and you shouldn\u2019t have taken it so personally.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

If the two of you were to marry, one would hope he and his family would celebrate the present and the future. Even if they didn\u2019t, if you love this man and want to be accepted by his family, you would be foolish to insist he stop something they find comforting. It wouldn\u2019t go down well. Trust me on that.<\/p>\n

DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: I am in a relationship with a much younger man. We are both adults and love each other.<\/p>\n

Read more \u2018All My Children\u2019 star Paul Avery, wife killed in house fire<\/a><\/p>\n

There\u2019s no doubt that we want to be together and enjoy our lives together. But his family keeps trying to get him to leave me, despite his explaining to them that he\u2019s happy and this works for us.<\/p>\n

All of this makes me uncomfortable when the family gets together, but I go to support him, and he wants me there.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

They love him but they don\u2019t give him support when he needs it. I have been there for him through his toughest times.<\/p>\n

How do I get them to understand?<\/p>\n

\u2014 OLDER WOMAN IN THE MIDWEST<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR OLDER<\/strong>: It is not your responsibility to convince your boyfriend\u2019s family of anything. He should tell his family that he doesn\u2019t want to discuss the subject when they bring it up. He should also refrain from sharing it with you.<\/p>\n

With time, his relatives will realize that your relationship is a lasting one. If, however, they deliberately make you uncomfortable when you have to see them, limit the amount of time you spend in their presence.<\/p>\n

DEAR READERS<\/strong>: Happy Father\u2019s Day to fathers everywhere \u2014 birth fathers, stepfathers, adoptive and foster fathers, grandfathers, and all of you caring men who mentor children and fill the role of absent dads. P.S. Also, a big shoutout to dual-role moms. I applaud you all \u2014 today and every day. \u2014 LOVE, ABBY<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more What full-time working moms and dads want, by the numbers<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Abby: It bugs me a lot. He suggested I write you and get your take.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":88,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2670","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Abby: Am I reading too much into my boyfriend’s family dinner? - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2670\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: Am I reading too much into my boyfriend’s family dinner? - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Dear Abby: It bugs me a lot. He suggested I write you and get your take.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2670\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-06-21T08:39:20+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2670#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2670\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Dear Abby: Am I reading too much into my boyfriend’s family dinner?\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-06-21T08:39:20+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2670\"},\"wordCount\":629,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2670#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2670#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2670\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2670\",\"name\":\"Dear Abby: Am I reading too much into my boyfriend’s family dinner? - Next City Digest\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2670#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2670#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-06-21T08:39:20+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2670#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2670\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2670#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp\",\"width\":1024,\"height\":614},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2670#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Dear Abby: Am I reading too much into my boyfriend’s family dinner?\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"Next City Digest\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\",\"name\":\"admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"admin\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Dear Abby: Am I reading too much into my boyfriend’s family dinner? - Next City Digest","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2670","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Dear Abby: Am I reading too much into my boyfriend’s family dinner? - Next City Digest","og_description":"Dear Abby: It bugs me a lot. He suggested I write you and get your take.","og_url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2670","og_site_name":"Next City Digest","article_published_time":"2026-06-21T08:39:20+00:00","author":"admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"admin","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2670#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2670"},"author":{"name":"admin","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b"},"headline":"Dear Abby: Am I reading too much into my boyfriend’s family dinner?","datePublished":"2026-06-21T08:39:20+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2670"},"wordCount":629,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2670#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp","articleSection":["Advice"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2670#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2670","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2670","name":"Dear Abby: Am I reading too much into my boyfriend’s family dinner? - Next City Digest","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2670#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2670#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp","datePublished":"2026-06-21T08:39:20+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2670#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2670"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2670#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp","contentUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp","width":1024,"height":614},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2670#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Dear Abby: Am I reading too much into my boyfriend’s family dinner?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/","name":"Next City Digest","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b","name":"admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"admin"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/nextcitydigest.com"],"url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?author=1"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2670","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2670"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2670\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/88"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2670"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2670"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2670"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}