{"id":2402,"date":"2026-06-18T08:07:32","date_gmt":"2026-06-18T08:07:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2402"},"modified":"2026-06-18T08:07:32","modified_gmt":"2026-06-18T08:07:32","slug":"dear-abby-i-hide-my-resentment-but-it-has-fueled-my-deathbed-plan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2402","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: I hide my resentment, but it has fueled my deathbed plan"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: For years, my only daughter and I got along pretty well. Then she stopped visiting or speaking to us, meaning we didn\u2019t see our grandchildren or my son-in-law.<\/p>\n

Read more \u2018The Real L Word\u2019 star Francine Beppu\u2019s cause of death revealed<\/a><\/p>\n

That went on for six to eight years. Suddenly, she has responded on Facebook but refuses to tell me what the problem was.<\/p>\n

When you don\u2019t communicate with somebody for this long, it\u2019s difficult because so much has happened in the interim that conversations are now as if I\u2019m speaking to a stranger. I deeply resent this, though I pretend I\u2019m fine because if I don\u2019t, all communication will cease again.<\/p>\n

As I near the end of my life, I don\u2019t want her to visit me at my \u201cdeathbed\u201d (whenever that might be) or even know that I\u2019m dying, because the only thing I\u2019m going to want to know is \u201cwhy,\u201d and she will never tell me. It interfered with my relationship with my three granddaughters, so I don\u2019t want to see her.<\/p>\n

I truly feel if she didn\u2019t want any part of me all these years, she shouldn\u2019t bother paying lip service at the end. When that time comes, I only want to be around people who truly loved and cared about me.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t get my son and my best friend to understand that when the time comes, I just want peace. How can I?<\/p>\n

\u2014 WEARY IN WASHINGTON<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR WEARY:<\/strong> Tell them the truth \u2014 that you maintain contact with your daughter only because you love your granddaughters and don\u2019t want to be further estranged from them. Then explain that when your time comes (hopefully, many years from now), you only want at your side those who showed you love, which does not include the daughter who iced you out for years with no explanation, and you do not want to discuss it further. (From your description of your history with her, she\u2019s unlikely to show up.)<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: I would like to offer some advice to your readers over 50: Think carefully before getting a dog.<\/p>\n

Read more Pittsburg residents voice frustration over approved data center<\/a><\/p>\n

You may be active and able to care for a pet now, but where will you be in 15 years?<\/p>\n

My husband and I are in our 70s and caring for an elderly dog. When we got our puppy 13 years ago, I figured even if things went wrong, one of my three kids would be able to take the dog. Well, for various practical reasons, they can\u2019t. So, guess who has to take \u201cSkip\u201d out in the rain and snow, risking life and limb (his and mine) four times a day?<\/p>\n

In addition, traveling \u2014 something we always hoped to do in retirement \u2014 is difficult to arrange.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

So think twice, people! Your dog depends on you to care for it until it arrives at the Rainbow Bridge.<\/p>\n

\u2014 TIED TO SKIP<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR TIED:<\/strong> I\u2019m sure you love your senior dog despite the hardships advanced age has brought to both of you. Thank you for hanging in there even though it\u2019s not always easy.<\/p>\n

People of all ages take in pets without thinking of the long-term responsibilities involved. An important part of the pet adoption process is considering how you will provide for it when you travel or are no longer physically able to handle it yourself. Skipping this step is unfair to the animal.<\/p>\n

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more More than 100 grams of methamphetamine, loaded gun, found in separate San Pablo traffic stops<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Problem is, my son and best friend aren’t on board with it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":88,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2402","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Abby: I hide my resentment, but it has fueled my deathbed plan - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2402\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: I hide my resentment, but it has fueled my deathbed plan - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Problem is, my son and best friend aren't on board with it.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2402\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-06-18T08:07:32+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2402#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2402\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Dear Abby: I hide my resentment, but it has fueled my deathbed plan\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-06-18T08:07:32+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2402\"},\"wordCount\":654,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2402#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2402#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2402\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2402\",\"name\":\"Dear Abby: I hide my resentment, but it has fueled my deathbed plan - 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