{"id":2153,"date":"2026-06-15T09:38:54","date_gmt":"2026-06-15T09:38:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2153"},"modified":"2026-06-15T09:38:54","modified_gmt":"2026-06-15T09:38:54","slug":"asking-eric-i-think-i-understand-the-man-who-freaks-out-about-home-repairs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2153","title":{"rendered":"Asking Eric: I think I understand the man who freaks out about home repairs"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n

Dear Eric<\/strong>: I read your excellent advice to \u201cMrs. Fix-It,\u201d whose husband isn\u2019t handy but who has meltdowns every time she calls a repairperson.<\/p>\n

Read more Harriette Cole: I didn\u2019t know my friend was behind me, and I said something regrettable<\/a><\/p>\n

I would hazard a guess that perhaps her husband is concerned about costs (even if money is not a problem) and about being taken advantage of by unscrupulous repairmen.<\/p>\n

Although at the end of his life, my dad had managed to accumulate more than enough money to keep him and my mom happy, he was obsessed about money, probably due to his own difficult upbringing and the trauma associated with it.<\/p>\n

Despite having plenty of money myself, I also fret about home repairs and constantly question whether I\u2019m being overcharged since I am single, a woman and age 70. I try to get multiple quotes and act like I know what I\u2019m doing, but that doesn\u2019t always work, and I have been taken advantage of.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t have the extreme reaction of Mr. Fix-It, but I do feel anxious about calling repairmen, so I question whether this is some of his issue.<\/p>\n

\u2013 Costly Repairs<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Repairs<\/strong>: That very well may be part of it; I appreciate your comment. If this does apply to the letter writer\u2019s situation, it\u2019s all the more reason that the letter writer\u2019s husband should work on taking responsibility for his emotional response so that they can have a rational discussion about what needs to be done and work together to budget, assuage economic anxiety, or do the research to find a reputable repair person.<\/p>\n

This last part, to your point, may take some work. The couple would be wise to solicit recommendations from friends \u2013 even keeping a running list, just in case, plus agree that anyone coming into the home for repairs needs to be bonded and insured.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Dear Eric<\/strong>: A group of us in our 70s have been going on trips every year for 25 years, but I haven\u2019t enjoyed myself the last couple of years because I have a difficult time not feeling that I need to be a caretaker to one person in our group who has major physical issues. I am constantly watching to make sure the person is safe.<\/p>\n

At my age, it is also physically exhausting to be responsible for someone else\u2019s physical needs. A couple of the other people help, but a few seem clueless unless given specific instructions as to how to help.<\/p>\n

I have tried being less of a caretaker, but it is just in my nature. I can\u2019t seem to turn it off. Being on high alert to help meet someone else\u2019s needs inhibits my ability to relax and enjoy myself.<\/p>\n

Read more Miss Manners: Must I stay quiet when they ridicule America?<\/a><\/p>\n

I want to back out of the trips, but I also want to maintain my friendship with the group.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

\u2013 Not Fun<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Not Fun:<\/strong> I\u2019m curious about what the person who has physical issues thinks about this. Is the responsibility that you\u2019re assuming something that this person has asked for and\/or something that both of you agreed upon? It may be the case that there are mismatched expectations here that can be sorted out with a conversation.<\/p>\n

You might tell this person that you\u2019ve been trying to keep them safe on group trips and ask if that\u2019s something they feel the need for. If so, you could then share that the responsibility is overwhelming you and ask that you create alternatives together. This empowers your friend and could present an opportunity for your friend to proactively lean on other people in the group.<\/p>\n

After 25 years of friendship, it\u2019s normal for relationship dynamics to change. It\u2019s also normal for your wants and needs to change. It\u2019s possible that the annual trips aren\u2019t meeting you where you are anymore.<\/p>\n

Consider taking a year off and see how you feel. This doesn\u2019t close the door on your connection to the group but could allow you to get some needed perspective that will inform your next step.<\/p>\n

Dear Eric:<\/strong> When hosting a party, what is the best way to ensure guests drive home safely if they have been drinking or are otherwise intoxicated?<\/p>\n

\u2013 Safe Home<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Home<\/strong>: If a friend is impaired by alcohol or intoxicated, it\u2019s imperative that they don\u2019t get behind the wheel, full stop. Some methods for preventing this include taking their keys, calling them a ride, sending them home with a designated driver, letting them sleep it off at your house, and driving them yourself.<\/p>\n

As the host of the party, if you want to cultivate an environment that discourages impaired driving, you might ask anyone taking a car to identify a designated driver in advance, limit the amount of alcohol that you serve (if any), and serve food with any drinks. None of these, however, is a substitute for personal responsibility on the parts of your guests.<\/p>\n

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: My husband is angry that I won\u2019t share my dad\u2019s estate with his kids<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Eric Thomas: I can afford to pay, but I can’t get past the suspicion I’m being ripped off. Plus: I can’t enjoy our trips because I’m always on high alert.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":94,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2153","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nAsking Eric: I think I understand the man who freaks out about home repairs - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2153\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Asking Eric: I think I understand the man who freaks out about home repairs - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Eric Thomas: I can afford to pay, but I can't get past the suspicion I'm being ripped off. Plus: I can't enjoy our trips because I'm always on high alert.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2153\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-06-15T09:38:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2153#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2153\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Asking Eric: I think I understand the man who freaks out about home repairs\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-06-15T09:38:54+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2153\"},\"wordCount\":914,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2153#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/348037f2d10eefdb0c5700288103d0d5.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2153#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2153\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2153\",\"name\":\"Asking Eric: I think I understand the man who freaks out about home repairs - Next City Digest\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2153#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2153#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/348037f2d10eefdb0c5700288103d0d5.webp\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-06-15T09:38:54+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2153#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2153\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2153#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/348037f2d10eefdb0c5700288103d0d5.webp\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/348037f2d10eefdb0c5700288103d0d5.webp\",\"width\":1024,\"height\":629},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=2153#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Asking Eric: I think I understand the man who freaks out about home repairs\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"Next City Digest\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\",\"name\":\"admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"admin\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Asking Eric: I think I understand the man who freaks out about home repairs - Next City Digest","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2153","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Asking Eric: I think I understand the man who freaks out about home repairs - Next City Digest","og_description":"Eric Thomas: I can afford to pay, but I can't get past the suspicion I'm being ripped off. Plus: I can't enjoy our trips because I'm always on high alert.","og_url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2153","og_site_name":"Next City Digest","article_published_time":"2026-06-15T09:38:54+00:00","author":"admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"admin","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2153#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2153"},"author":{"name":"admin","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b"},"headline":"Asking Eric: I think I understand the man who freaks out about home repairs","datePublished":"2026-06-15T09:38:54+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2153"},"wordCount":914,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2153#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/348037f2d10eefdb0c5700288103d0d5.webp","articleSection":["Advice"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2153#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2153","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2153","name":"Asking Eric: I think I understand the man who freaks out about home repairs - Next City Digest","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2153#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2153#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/348037f2d10eefdb0c5700288103d0d5.webp","datePublished":"2026-06-15T09:38:54+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2153#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2153"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2153#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/348037f2d10eefdb0c5700288103d0d5.webp","contentUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/348037f2d10eefdb0c5700288103d0d5.webp","width":1024,"height":629},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=2153#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Asking Eric: I think I understand the man who freaks out about home repairs"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/","name":"Next City Digest","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b","name":"admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"admin"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/nextcitydigest.com"],"url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?author=1"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2153","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2153"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2153\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/94"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2153"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2153"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2153"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}