{"id":213,"date":"2026-05-22T19:33:52","date_gmt":"2026-05-22T19:33:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=213"},"modified":"2026-05-22T19:33:52","modified_gmt":"2026-05-22T19:33:52","slug":"kurtenbach-dont-call-it-two-timelines-the-warriors-strange-new-journey-into-the-already-known","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=213","title":{"rendered":"Kurtenbach: Don\u2019t call it Two Timelines \u2014 the Warriors\u2019 strange new journey into the already known"},"content":{"rendered":"
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If you\u2019ve been watching the Western Conference Finals, the truth of the Warriors\u2019 standing in this league has hit you harder than a Stephon Castle dunk.<\/p>\n

Read more What do Californians care about during this election cycle? New poll breaks it all down<\/a><\/p>\n

The Dubs\u2019 window to compete for championships is over. Done. Kaput.<\/p>\n

It was one hell of a run, though, wasn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n

When I say it\u2019s over, I\u2019m not talking about a temporary dip in championship equity; we\u2019re talking about total eviction from the NBA\u2019s elite neighborhood. The Warriors might be able to keep up with the Timberwolves, Suns, Lakers, or even the Nuggets, but those are also-rans, too. The Oklahoma City Thunder and San Antonio Spurs are too young, too impossibly polished, and too good. They\u2019re operating on a basketball plane the Warriors can\u2019t even see without a telescope.<\/p>\n

Steph Curry might have a way to keep his telomeres as long as his shooting range, but there is absolutely nothing within the realm of possibility that Golden State can do this offseason to close the gap.<\/p>\n

His splashy tides used to raise all ships.<\/p>\n

But not these ships.<\/p>\n

Not that high.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

So, what do you do when you\u2019re stuck in the middle seat of NBA purgatory?<\/p>\n

You go back to the well. You bring back the most ridiculed strategic initiative in modern basketball history. You reprise the \u201cTwo Timelines.\u201d<\/p>\n

It sounds like heresy, a cruel joke, a take so hot it seems even beyond me, but the Warriors weren\u2019t wrong to try two timelines in the first place \u2014 they were just early. Smugly early. Embarrassingly early.<\/p>\n

But now is the right time for a redux.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

You can\u2019t tear it all down while No. 30 is still wearing blue and gold \u2014 or whatever colors the Warriors are wearing these days, but if you\u2019re not competing for rings, you should probably get a jump-start on the post-Curry era.<\/p>\n

Enter the No. 11 pick in the upcoming NBA draft, and with it, the start of the new (improved?) second timeline.<\/p>\n

The issue? It\u2019s not the strategy. It\u2019s the branding.<\/p>\n

The Dubs need a massive marketing pivot to pull this move off. Because if CEO Joe Lacob \u2014 or any other member of the Warriors\u2019 brass \u2014 is quoted as saying \u201ctwo timelines\u201d again, they\u2019ll be ridiculed nonstop.<\/p>\n

Yes, Two Timelines needs a rebrand, and it needs to go better than New Coke or the 49ers\u2019 one-day logo in 1991.<\/p>\n

Here are a few 100 percent not focus-grouped suggestions for the Dubs\u2019 new, strange journey into the already known:<\/p>\n

The Horizon Shift<\/b><\/h3>\n

It means absolutely nothing, which makes it perfect for modern corporate speak. It sounds like a premium feature on an electric SUV or a luxury wellness retreat in Big Sur. It screams \u201cwe have a plan,\u201d even if that plan is just drafting a 19-year-old and hoping things go better than last time.<\/p>\n

The Golden Vanguard<\/b><\/h3>\n

This one appeals to the tech-bro hubris that defines Chase Center. It suggests the Warriors are still leading a revolution, even if they\u2019re actually just trying to avoid disgrace. Can\u2019t we all relate?<\/p>\n

Read more Gloria Romero, California lieutenant governor candidate, answers Bay Area News Group\u2019s primary questionnaire<\/a><\/p>\n

The Dual Core<\/b><\/h3>\n

Let\u2019s lean into the Silicon Valley of it all. I don\u2019t know which half of the roster is the CPU and which is the GPU, and frankly, I don\u2019t care. I just know it distracts people from the fact that half the team is eligible for basketball AARP and the other half is still figuring out how to do their own laundry.<\/p>\n

The Relay<\/b><\/h3>\n

The metaphor is easy to understand: Steph is handing off the baton. The only problem is that in the last version of this race, James Wiseman dropped the baton, kicked it into the stands, and tripped over a hurdle, injuring himself in the process, while Jonathan Kuminga\u2019s agent claimed his client should have been running the anchor leg.<\/p>\n

Maybe we just go back to tech terms.<\/p>\n

The Hot Swap<\/b><\/h3>\n

We\u2019re replacing components while the system is still running. It implies efficiency, minimal downtime, and zero pain. It\u2019s a beautiful lie.<\/p>\n

The Bridge (Plan)<\/b><\/h3>\n

This is such a lame, regional pun that I fully expect it to be the pick.<\/p>\n

Warriors 2.0<\/b><\/h3>\n

Let\u2019s just keep it simple. The first iteration of Lacob\u2019s Warriors is dying. Long live the kings of the NBA (and entertainment \u2014 I\u2019m told that\u2019s just as important).<\/p>\n

That means Warriors 2.0 is officially loading.<\/p>\n

Will it be as good? Absolutely not. But it\u2019s different, and giving it a title will give everyone a head start on wrapping their heads around the inevitable.<\/p>\n

But why bother with the branding exercise? Why not just ride into the sunset, enjoy the nostalgia tour, and take the medicine of a 15-win-a-year-for-a-half-decade tear-down when Steph retires?<\/p>\n

Well, because standard NBA rebuilds suck. They are miserable, soul-crushing endeavors that alienate fanbases and bring organizations to their knees. I certainly don\u2019t wish such a thing on paying customers, but I feel immense sympathy for the folks on the payroll, too.<\/p>\n

The way I see it, the Warriors long ago fulfilled their organizational quota for losses.<\/p>\n

So if you can get ahead of the crash, you do it. Pay some principal now while you have some wiggle room, so you\u2019re not paying a big interest fee later. The floor is coming for this franchise eventually. But there is a massive difference between a floor of 15 wins and a floor of 37 wins \u2014 which, of course, is what the Warriors just gave us.<\/p>\n

But you can build something out of a young, plucky team that wins 37. You can\u2019t build anything but depression and desperation out of 15.<\/p>\n

Contrary to recent history, popular belief, and baseline logic, I don\u2019t think the hard part is threading the needle between winning a few games now and drafting the future. No, the hard part is the marketing. And if this column is any indication, there isn\u2019t a Don Draper in sight.<\/p>\n

Read more Steven Bradford, California insurance commissioner candidate, answers Bay Area News Group\u2019s primary questionnaire.<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Golden State Warriors: The Dubs need to go back to two timelines \u2014 if only they could call it that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":212,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-213","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sports"],"yoast_head":"\nKurtenbach: Don\u2019t call it Two Timelines \u2014 the Warriors\u2019 strange new journey into the already known - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=213\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Kurtenbach: Don\u2019t call it Two Timelines \u2014 the Warriors\u2019 strange new journey into the already known - 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