{"id":1977,"date":"2026-06-13T09:06:21","date_gmt":"2026-06-13T09:06:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=1977"},"modified":"2026-06-13T09:06:21","modified_gmt":"2026-06-13T09:06:21","slug":"harriette-cole-should-i-skip-her-baby-shower-because-of-my-values","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=1977","title":{"rendered":"Harriette Cole: Should I skip her baby shower because of my values?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR HARRIETTE:<\/strong> A friend recently invited me to her baby shower, and I\u2019m conflicted. This will be her fourth child, with her fourth husband.<\/p>\n

Read more Miss Manners: Was I wrong to refuse my houseguest\u2019s demand?<\/a><\/p>\n

I knew she had divorced her third husband and was dating again, but I didn\u2019t realize she had remarried.<\/p>\n

When she was planning her third wedding, she asked me to be her maid of honor, and I declined. I told her then that I felt she was moving too quickly and not taking marriage seriously, especially with children involved. She didn\u2019t agree with me, and now I see a similar pattern repeating.<\/p>\n

While I believe a baby is a blessing and deserves to be celebrated, I\u2019m struggling with whether my presence would feel like I\u2019m endorsing choices I\u2019m genuinely concerned about. Should I attend to support her as a friend and celebrate the child or sit this one out to stay true to my values?<\/p>\n

\u2014 I Do, I Do, I Do<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR I DO, I DO, I DO<\/strong>: You have to decide where you draw the line. Do you want to remain in this woman\u2019s life?<\/p>\n

You do not agree with her choices. That may be true for other friends who do things that don\u2019t sit right with you. Can you give her space to be herself and still be in her orbit? If that doesn\u2019t sit well with you, now may be the time to walk away from that friendship. This may start with declining the invitation.<\/p>\n

If you do pivot away from her, that doesn\u2019t mean you have ill will toward her. It may simply signal that you don\u2019t want to get caught up in her drama. That\u2019s OK.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

DEAR HARRIETTE<\/strong>: My dear friend has had a bit of a spiritual awakening over the past year or so. I love seeing him committed to his faith, but what comes with their newfound spirituality is preaching their gospel.<\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: The bosses won\u2019t do anything about our annoying co-workers<\/a><\/p>\n

I have been religious all my life, committed to my own religion. So now when my friend talks to me about his faith, it feels more like he\u2019s trying to convince me or change my mind about things.<\/p>\n

I thought I was being overly defensive at first, but lately, he\u2019s been doing and saying things that make me think I may be right about him trying to convert me.<\/p>\n

Recently, he started sending me videos about his religion and other videos that undercut what my own religion teaches, and that\u2019s inappropriate. At first, I just ignored them, but then I told him that I do not plan to watch what he\u2019s sending. Still, he continues to send videos and invites me to \u201cbe open-minded.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

How do I make it clear to him that I do not appreciate what he\u2019s doing?<\/p>\n

\u2014 Preach the Gospel<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR PREACH THE GOSPEL<\/strong>: Sit your friend down and tell him you are happy that he has found his way to faith. Clearly, he is excited right now, and you understand that this is why he is pushing you so hard.<\/p>\n

Then strongly say to him that you have your own path that you are passionate about, and you need him to respect your decisions. Ask him to stop sending you videos and other material from his faith and generally stop trying to proselytize you.<\/p>\n

If he refuses, block him on the various platforms where he is sending you information.<\/p>\n

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c\/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Recruiting: Key visits on penultimate weekend, Oregon\u2019s in-state pledges, UW\u2019s wideout whisperer<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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