{"id":1746,"date":"2026-06-10T08:07:05","date_gmt":"2026-06-10T08:07:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=1746"},"modified":"2026-06-10T08:07:05","modified_gmt":"2026-06-10T08:07:05","slug":"dear-abby-i-notice-women-cruising-my-wife-wherever-we-go","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=1746","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: I notice women cruising my wife wherever we go"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: I have been married to my wife for two years. We met online and have known each other for about five years. We originally lived an hour apart, and after some persuasion, we bought a condo together.<\/p>\n

Read more Former Stanford standout Nadia Fingall gives Valkyries depth, defense in frontcourt<\/a><\/p>\n

Everything was going great until I began to notice my wife\u2019s attraction to other women. I noticed lesbians \u201ccruising\u201d my wife wherever we went, whether we were on vacation or just at the grocery store. I also believe she\u2019s finding women online and having sex with them.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think she\u2019s gay but just enjoys the sex part. Also, she still has sex with me.<\/p>\n

I hate the fact that all this is done in secret. She denies anything is happening, but I\u2019ve caught her in many lies.<\/p>\n

We are retired and living off both our savings, but most of it is hers. I don\u2019t know if I could survive on just my savings. She\u2019s also threatened to take a lot of my savings through litigation.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m stuck. I love her, but I can\u2019t continue this farce. Help, please.<\/p>\n

\u2014 NERVOUS IN NEW ENGLAND<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR NERVOUS<\/strong>: Your wife may not be gay, but if your hunch is accurate, she is certainly bisexual. However, you have more problems than her having sex outside your marriage. Equally troubling are her threats to help herself to your savings and the fact that when you ask her something, you don\u2019t necessarily get a straight answer.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

You may love your wife, but I don\u2019t see how you can stay married and be happy under these conditions. You may need to talk about this with a lawyer. You should also consider whether you are at risk for an STD.<\/p>\n

Read more Man dies of self-inflicted gunshot wound during police stop in Pittsburg<\/a><\/p>\n

One more thing: You stated that you are afraid you can\u2019t survive financially if you leave her. Because you both invested in the condo, wouldn\u2019t you be entitled to half the money from its sale? Think about how you were managing to survive before you met her, and consider whether you can live that way again.<\/p>\n

DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: I am in love with a married woman.<\/p>\n

Many years ago, before she was married, she knew I was in love with her, but she lied to me and led me on. Despite knowing how I felt about her, she got married, leaving me devastated.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Now, many years later, I am still in mourning and haunted by \u201cwhat if?\u201d I know I can never move on from her, and it seems like things will never change. So what do I do?<\/p>\n

\u2014 ABANDONED IN ARIZONA<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR ABANDONED<\/strong>: When I was young, I was in love with Steve Reeves and Robert Redford (not at the same time, though). Unfortunately, they were both taken \u2014 and not with me.<\/p>\n

If you want to waste any more of your life pining after a woman who lied to you, led you on and married someone else, that is your privilege. If, however, you would like to get beyond your lingering emotional pain, you will ask your physician or insurance company for the name of a licensed psychologist. You can<\/em> move on, but it will require concerted effort.<\/p>\n

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Man charged with attempted murder in Oakland shooting<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I also think she’s hooking up with women she meets online.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":88,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1746","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Abby: I notice women cruising my wife wherever we go - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=1746\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: I notice women cruising my wife wherever we go - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I also think she's hooking up with women she meets online.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=1746\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-06-10T08:07:05+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=1746#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=1746\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Dear Abby: I notice women cruising my wife wherever we go\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-06-10T08:07:05+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=1746\"},\"wordCount\":615,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=1746#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=1746#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=1746\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=1746\",\"name\":\"Dear Abby: I notice women cruising my wife wherever we go - 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