{"id":1611,"date":"2026-06-09T09:06:23","date_gmt":"2026-06-09T09:06:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=1611"},"modified":"2026-06-09T09:06:23","modified_gmt":"2026-06-09T09:06:23","slug":"harriette-cole-shes-a-good-friend-but-a-bad-partyer-is-it-ok-to-ditch-her","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=1611","title":{"rendered":"Harriette Cole: She’s a good friend but a bad partyer. Is it OK to ditch her?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR HARRIETTE<\/strong>: Do you think it\u2019s OK to have different friends for different activities?<\/p>\n

Read more Miss Manners: They didn\u2019t comment on my body, and I\u2019m offended<\/a><\/p>\n

I\u2019m a college student and one of my closest friends, who I love dearly, is an amazing, funny, caring individual, but I can\u2019t stand going out with her.<\/p>\n

Every time we go to the bar or club with our friends, she complains, gets upset and inevitably leaves early and gets mad at us for staying out. I love hanging out with her on the day to day, shopping, running errands and things like that.<\/p>\n

Do you think it would be problematic for me to express that I don\u2019t like going out on the town with her? I don\u2019t want to upset her by flat-out saying she\u2019s a buzzkill on a night out, but I also don\u2019t want the fun sucked out of a night out.<\/p>\n

\u2014 Not a Party Friend<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR NOT A PARTY FRIEND:<\/strong> You can absolutely enjoy people in different settings. Don\u2019t feel guilty for enjoying this woman in one way but not another.<\/p>\n

You don\u2019t necessarily have to say anything to her about it either. Instead, just invite her to do things that you enjoy together, and do not invite her to the other events. If you see her somewhere, be pleasant, but if she starts acting out, take her aside and encourage her to stop.<\/p>\n

You can debrief with her at another time and tell her that you have noticed that she doesn\u2019t seem to enjoy nightlife. Maybe it\u2019s not her thing.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

DEAR HARRIETTE:<\/strong> I moved to another state for college in order to attend my dream institution and help turn my dreams into reality.<\/p>\n

Obviously, moving for college was a massive adjustment for my family and me. I try to talk on the phone with them every day, but every once in a while, I miss a call due to the stress of school and living in the city.<\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: I made a mistake with this man I met on the dating site<\/a><\/p>\n

The other day I was on the phone with my father, who told me that my mom has been depressed since I\u2019ve gone to college and that it\u2019s my fault for going away. My mom has been extremely supportive of me moving for college and continuously tells me how proud she is of me. My father is also known for starting drama in the family for his own enjoyment.<\/p>\n

Although I know my mom is proud of me and supports me, I can\u2019t help but feel guilty for moving. What do you suggest I do?<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

\u2014 Guilty Student<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR GUILTY STUDENT:<\/strong> It is natural for children to grow up and move away from home \u2014 either for college, work or marriage.<\/p>\n

Yes, it can be stressful and even depressing, especially for parents and children who remain at home. But it is a part of life, and over time your family members will adjust \u2014 including your mother.<\/p>\n

What you can do now is to stay in touch with her as best you can. Every day may be unrealistic. Why not establish a weekly call that you honor as best you can? In between agree to speak intermittently. If your mother texts, encourage sending messages that way so that you communicate when it\u2019s convenient.<\/p>\n

Give yourself and your family time. Everyone must adjust. Live your life. You are responsible for yourself.<\/p>\n

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c\/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Sacred Heart Cathedral poaches new girls basketball coach from fellow San Francisco private school<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Harriette Cole: Is it OK to ditch her? Plus: My father says it’s my fault that my mom is depressed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":92,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1611","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nHarriette Cole: She’s a good friend but a bad partyer. Is it OK to ditch her? - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=1611\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Harriette Cole: She’s a good friend but a bad partyer. 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