{"id":1397,"date":"2026-06-07T08:05:45","date_gmt":"2026-06-07T08:05:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=1397"},"modified":"2026-06-07T08:05:45","modified_gmt":"2026-06-07T08:05:45","slug":"dear-abby-our-friends-behavior-around-our-grandchildren-is-worrying","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=1397","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: Our friend&#8217;s behavior around our grandchildren is worrying"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<div>\n<p><strong>DEAR ABBY:<\/strong> A group of us friends grew up together and remained connected over the decades. Many have died off, however, leaving three of us who are very close.<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=1396\">First-time homebuyers face hurdles despite gradual improvement<\/a><\/p>\n<p>One of the three, \u201cMarie,\u201d has grown increasingly \u201cprickly\u201d with each passing year. When I have mentioned it to her, she says, \u201cLove me anyway!\u201d We do love her, but we find ourselves spending less and less time around her.<\/p>\n<p>Marie is divorced and has no children. I had always envisioned inviting her to live with my family so she wouldn\u2019t be alone (she\u2019s having trouble keeping up her home and lives on a very modest income).<\/p>\n<p>When my grandchildren were around recently, Marie was gritting her teeth because her nerves were so frayed. As a result, my daughter took the kids out for a long walk and later asked what I thought was wrong with \u201cAuntie.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019d like to give the question to you, Abby. What do you think is wrong with Marie? Our third survivor said after a recent experience (I wasn\u2019t there) that he\u2019d do everything in his power not to have his grandchild around her again.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u2014 CHANGE OF HEART IN OREGON<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR CHANGE:<\/strong> You state that Marie has become increasingly \u201cprickly\u201d with each passing year. In light of your long friendship, try to find out the reason for her change in attitude. Her disagreeableness may stem from unhappiness with the way her life has turned out.<\/p>\n<p>She may also not enjoy the company of young children. (Not everyone does, although some are better at faking it than others.)<\/p>\n<div>\n<\/div>\n<p>Do not ask Marie to move in with you and your family unless you can provide private accommodations for her if the children stress her out. Research lower-cost, child-free alternatives that might better suit her.<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=1394\">SF Giants lose to Cubs on 10th-inning walk-off single by Busch<\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: I am getting divorced and not happy about it. My wife and I have been married eight years, together for nine, and we have three children.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m the first to admit that I made a lot of mistakes in business and with finances that caused her to no longer trust me.<\/p>\n<p>I thought we were working on things, and we had agreed to move to start over. Well, she moved before me. She met other men she liked more than me, and, when I arrived, she told me, \u201cSorry, there\u2019s the door.\u201d<\/p>\n<div>\n<\/div>\n<p>I am devastated and angry. I think she sympathizes with my pain, but I can\u2019t get her to talk about it. How do I let go of my anger and move on with my life?<\/p>\n<p><em>\u2014 CAN\u2019T LET GO<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR CAN\u2019T<\/strong>: From what you have written, your wife appears to be as angry with you as you are with her. If she wants to end the marriage, you can\u2019t stop her. That\u2019s why it is important you consult an attorney about how to proceed. (Are you employed? Is she?) Someone is going to have to support those children until you are financially stable.<\/p>\n<p>You may need the help of a mental health professional in order to let go of your anger and get on with your life. And whether that should be first or second on your list of priorities, I can\u2019t answer for you.<\/p>\n<p><em>Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=1392\">Alameda\u2019s special softball season ends with loss in NorCal D-II final<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Abby: I&#8217;m having second thoughts about inviting her to live with me. 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