Harriette Cole: I was told that leaving work at 5 could cost me a promotion

DEAR HARRIETTE: Over the years, I have become extremely specific with my scheduling, which has encouraged me to also become extremely efficient at work.

I try to get all my work done within work hours. I generally leave work at 5 p.m. on the dot.

I am not doing essential or life-saving work, so I no longer feel the need to overextend myself by staying late to prove my dedication to my superiors.

Despite being a trusted voice and leader in my department, recently my director mentioned that I may be passed over for a major promotion because I’m always “the first person out the door.”

During my work hours, I outwork my peers, I support them and I provide mentorship and guidance, but because they take longer doing their work, they may be up for a promotion. How is that fair?

— Work Hours

DEAR WORK HOURS: Every business has its customs, commonly known as “corporate culture.” These are the unwritten rules about how people interact, what they wear, how they spend time after work, what they talk about and when they arrive and leave.

Your productivity seems to be fueled by your desire to follow a 9-to-5 schedule. If your company does not follow that drumbeat, your efforts are not in sync with theirs.

Being efficient is only part of the secret sauce of moving up in an organization. You have to be willing and interested in being a team player, being available at the same times as your peers — and more important, with your bosses.

What you are doing now may seem like showing people up or being eager to leave because you have something more important to do. Neither option will help you grow with the company.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend is going through an extremely tough time with a guy who’s mistreating her. They’ve had a casual but intimate relationship for over a year now.

Her guy mentioned early on that he was not ready to be in a serious relationship, but they still moved forward with each other — dating publicly, sharing friend groups, being physically intimate, etc. Now, he seems ready to move on, and he’s been ignoring my friend and flirting with other women when they are out together with friends.

My friend is an accomplished and bright young woman, and it hurts me to see her confidence breaking because of a man who doesn’t value her. I try to encourage her to move on, but she seems stuck.

Sometimes she calls me crying or panicking after another argument with him, and I simply don’t know how to help. What would you say to your friend?

— Moving On

DEAR MOVING ON: It’s one thing to want to be casual — even though he hasn’t been — and another thing entirely to be disrespectful.

This guy ignoring your friend and flirting with other women around her is unacceptable — period. Take his behavior as a sign that he has checked out. No need to wait for him to tell her in words. It’s her turn to tell him goodbye.

Remind her that as she kicks him out of her heart, she should make it clear that she does not appreciate his dishonorable behavior. It would have been way more mature to tell her that he was ready to end the relationship.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.